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The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/its_all_good20 on 2024-04-08 07:56:53.

I have been sick for four years. I know my illness. I have been severe and mostly moderate with a period of mild remission for a few months until I got Covid again this past fall. After Covid I have been mostly bed bound- largely due to aggressive pacing and lowered baseline - but I luckily kept some of the “remission” aspects of a better sleep cycle (thanks to cannabis) and some improvement in HrV. Although my HR became extremely Brady/tachy again after reinfection.

Anyway- I work from bed and need help to wash my hair , get meals etc. that’s my level. But I had a couple of decent days and the delulu “I’m better!” Set in… then I decided to try half an adderall (10 mg very small dose) and monitor my heart rate. I have raging adhd and have been unmedicated for several years. I recently got a new prescription but hadn’t tried it. I thought I would take half- monitor my heart rate - and determine if I felt safe adding it to my morning pills before starting work to help with brain fog …

Anyway…… I got super fake energized and wound up Scraping the wallpaper off a wall in my kitchen for an hour. I know better. I know pacing. I know stimulants. But I did it anyway. I got so blissfully lost in the zone of hyper fixation and feeling the energy to do something I wanted to do- and I just kept going. Now I feel the lactic acid. I couldn’t walk back to bed after. I feel that feeling in my head- IYKYK. I feel the nausea and the buzzing. I will be paying for my folly.

So dear friends- and those who are new- this is why we all say be mindful of stimulant use. Of course it can tax your heart- but you can also get lost in the joy of fake energy and wind up in PEM that takes days to recover from. Or lowering your baseline. It’s not worth it. If you need to take them (and I get it. I have adhd AND my HR goes to the 30’s) I get it. But be smarter than I, and put boundaries in place to protect yourself from your own zeal.

This is not a disease of lazy. It’s a disease of the desperate desire to move and create and work and grow-stuck in bodies that punish us for living.