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The original was posted on /r/truscum by /u/OkLong582 on 2024-04-08 05:13:06.

I (26F, hetero) transitioned a bit over four years ago. My transition was not successful. I do not pass, and I am ugly. I have been hormones for roughly seven years, and have been consistently on them at good levels for four of those. Basically, I should be post-transition, but you can hardly tell that I did in the first place.

My life is measurably worse than it was four years ago. While I’m pretty fortunate with my current job, my career prospects are poor, because nobody wants to hire a visible transsexual. My dating options are limited to fetishists on grindr, who do not treat me well. My social life is equally messy, because I do not get along well with other LGBT people (today, having gender dysphoria is not something with a lot of currency…). FFS and other surgeries are financially out of reach forever (only Americans can get coverage for that sort of thing).

For the last year or so, I’ve been taking stock of my current situation, and I can’t help but conclude that swallowing my pride, admitting that I failed to transition, and going back to living as a gay man is the best way forward. Since my gender dysphoria is not better than it was four years ago, this seems like the sensible thing for me to do. While I have to live with crushing daily gender dysphoria either way, the circumstances of my life will improve a lot by detransitioning.

So I guess I’m looking for genuinely dysphoric men who’ve detransitioned and have some perspective on what worked for them:

1. How did coming out as a man work for you? How did you handle telling other people?
2. Are there any other alternatives to managing gender dysphoria?
3. How do you deal with conversations around transness? It’s something that comes up a lot in the current zeitgeist, and I imagine I’d have to choose whether to shut up or be more vocal about my experiences with it.