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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/Shadeskira on 2024-04-09 22:10:59.

The alien war leader walked through the ruins of his attack. razing of the city was a calculated risk to quell the uppity primates, his people seeded them for a purpose but the empire’s distraction from keeping them in line had let them develop disgusting thoughts and ideas.

He looked over as a primate coughed, its red blood splattered the floor between them. “Foolish Monkey. You should have died, but redundances for resistance were always in your genetics.”

The primate looks up, his hand holding his small communication device up, and spoke through its pain “Fucking Ugly alien, why did you attack?”

The Alien chuckles and activates his translator so this primate will understand him. “Because you monkeys had the misfortune of passing your threshold and ironically not obliterating yourselves.” He snarled, walking towards the dying Primate, his spear held tight. “We seeded your miserable kind on this world but we had other things to handle when your threshold for upliftment and enslavement came and went. Now we will either subjugate you by force or eliminate you as a failed seeding.”

“So… we are crops? beasts for you to use and discard as wanted? Why not talk and speak with us, offer us a chance for the stars as friends?” The primate says through bloodied teeth, its strength and resilience failing slowly.

The Alien chuckles “Friends? Do you think we would let you think yourself equal? Do you think the Empire believes in your miserable notions of egalitarianism and democracy?” He readied his spear but stopped, angry at the hateful glare of this dying Primate. “You think yourselves able to defeat me? Your kind are failures, you are bred and genetically engineered for violence and warfare, but you have stagnated in complacency and peace. Look at your world and tell me you think your world peace and equality is a path to advancement and power?”

The Primate coughs and wheezes as it chuckles in pain, its body at its last legs. “I don’t know what is funnier, the fact you think you can beat us? Or the fact you had attacked the most peaceful city in our world because you think this is our seat of control” The Primate turns the communications device towards itself and smiled “Ladies and Gents, Fuck’em up for us, and make them regret attacking Tokyo” The Primate says before breathing out his last breath.

A second later the Alien began receiving alerts of incoming ordnance from seven directions two of which were nuclear, his ground forces at the edges of the city receiving fire from every direction, and three of his six cruisers in low orbit being hit by kinetic weapons with enough force to knock the shields offline. Had he been wrong, did they never pass their threshold, were all their efforts for peace just them delaying the eventual obliteration of themselves? And if so, then what had he unleashed? His chances to answer his questions were cut short as a missile with a blue star slammed into him and ended his life and a ship from a tiny nation got to tally the kills of the invading aliens’ commander among its small but impactful list of kills.