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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2024-04-10 06:00:04.
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/hahahahaha679
OOP Has since deleted their account
Bf is getting is getting close to sister-in-law
Originally posted to r/AmIOverreacting
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, manipulation, property damage, verbal abuse, revenge porn
Original Post Apr 2, 2024
I (F 23) and my bf (M 26) have been together for about 4 years. Last year, my brother got married. My boyfriend was my plus one when we went there, and we all got along well.
However, about three months ago, I’ve noticed some suspicious behavior. My boyfriend started being more busy than usual. At first, I didn’t assume anything, but one of my coworkers who is also really close to my sister-in-law, said that she saw her at a bar with my boyfriend. They weren’t doing anything except drinking, so I didn’t really assume much. I asked him about it the next day, and he was pretty nonchalant. Since he didn’t get defensive, I assumed that meant there was nothing more to it, and he had nothing to hide.
However, last night when I was with my boyfriend, he received a text. I’m not a nosy person, so I wasn’t purposely trying to snoop. He was in the bathroom showering, and I just looked at his phone screen to see who it was, and I saw my sister-in-law‘s name. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was a bit suspicious, so I ended up checking his messages. Apparently, they’ve been having conversations for about about 4 months. It’s nothing explicit, but it’s more than just small talk. And based on the conversation, they’ve had a few meet ups at the bar.
I haven’t confronted him yet. I want to, but I’m worried that it will make things really awkward. It’s just, both my relationship and my brother’s relationship is now on the line. To me, this behavior is very unusual, because why would my boyfriend be so close to my sister-in-law? I’m really heartbroken because I love my boyfriend, and my brother loves his wife. I don’t know how I should proceed. Do I confront him? Do I just leave it alone? Please help, I don’t wanna make things worse by jumping to conclusions.
Edit: thank you all so much for the advice so far. I haven’t seen all the responses yet, but I will get to them eventually. As of now, I’ve already texted my brother. I gave him a limited summary, and told him I’d rather talk about it in person. He gets off of work soon, and his wife works from home. He’s going to try to see if there’s any information he can collect before he and I talk about this today. I will update when I know more.
Bf getting close to sister-in-law update (warning: NSFW mention) Apr 2, 2024 (6 hours later)
A lot of people wanted to be updated. So I decided to make a new post so the notification would go through. The original post is here
First off, thank you so much everyone for giving insight. I did go through and read a lot of the new responses, I just don’t have the energy to respond to everything, i’m sorry.
My brother got home from work (his wife works at home) and he was able to grab her phone while she was in a meeting. Her texts were the same that I saw on my boyfriend’s phone, but her Snapchat revealed a bit more. Apparently they’ve been sending explicit content to each other, videos and pictures.
It gets worse. Much worse. My sister-in-law has a pornhub account where she makes private nsfw which my brother found through her search history (he had no idea). I guess her income was going to her separate bank account (they have 2 separate and 1 joint).
That’s not even the shocker. It’s that one video posted 2 weeks ago has her doing it with a guy (they are wearing masks so it’s anonymous, but I recognize who it is because, ya know, I’ve slept with my bf before). This was during her “business trip” and one of the nights my bf was “busy”. So yeah. It’s official, they’ve done it.
My brother told my sister-in-law he had to run an errand, but he’s actually meeting with me at the moment.
I knew the text messages probably hinted at something going on, but I had no idea it would go this far. I’m honestly in shock. Not only that they did it together, but that it was posted on a website for other people to see.
Neither of our partners know that we know yet. My brother is planning on talking to his wife tonight and wants to divorce. I will be breaking up with my boyfriend as well (tonight).
Of course, before any final decision is made, both of us will make sure to talk this out with our partners separately. But given all of what we’ve seen, it’s most likely both of our relationships are over for good.
I know people look down on snooping on people’s phones. But after all the advice given, and the reasonable suspicion, I really don’t even care anymore. I’m glad that we found out, and I have no shame in my suspicions anymore.
Thank you all again for the support, and for the advice given. If it weren’t for your insight and those who recommended this plan, we probably would’ve never known. Or at least, not know to the extent this was going on. So thank you.
Final Update Apr 3, 2024 (next day)
Bf getting close to sister-in-law final update (last post)
Hello everyone. Sorry for the delay, it’s been a really crazy time.
I arrived back home last night, and my bf was still out (was a closer for the store he works at that night). Since it’s my house and not his, I took all his stuff and left it out on the curb. I already bought new locks and will be installing them asap. I also made sure to have a friend with me, she came over last night once I got back.
Once he arrived home, he was really confused
He called like 5 or 6 times when I didn’t open the door, and I finally answered and said “I know what you did, and you know what you did, get the f*ck off my property.”
He didn’t leave. He tried to find my 2 spare keys which I thankfully moved and he then yelled a variety of lovely things including how he’s the best thing I’ve ever had and I can’t afford to lose him insert eye roll
He started getting hysterical, kicking at the door and crying about how he had nowhere to go. He has no family here and most of his friends are married with kids. My friend said to call the cops, but I was hesitant, not wanting to escalate the situation. Until he bashed my car’s door in with the one of his golf clubs (one of his things I threw out on the curb).
So, I called the cops and they arrested him for property damage and trespassing. I haven’t been contacted on the extent of the charges since that’s under processing, but if it’s under $1000 I believe it’s a misdemeanor (up to 6 months in jail), and he also resisted arrest which can be up to another 6 months plus a fine in my state….Nevada. And there might be more fines depending on the damage, situation, etc.
Thats my story right now. I’m just waiting to hear back so I can get my car paid for. I didn’t even recognize this dude. I’ve never seen him this way, but it makes me thankful all this happened, because now I know his true colors. I’ve known him for 4 years, but I never really know him at all.
In Nevada, you cannot throw out a spouse even if it’s solely your name on the deed. So sadly, my brother cannot kick out my sister-in-law yet. But, my brother does have a prenuptial property agreement regarding his home, so that will be distributed to him once this is taken care of. As well as his bank account and other assets he has a prenup for.
He didn’t want to wait to tell her, and I honestly don’t blame him. He didn’t tell her last night though, he wanted to call a lawyer first. So he just slept on the couch much to her confusion.
He told her this morning (after he contacted a reputable lawyer). He did this by asking if she saw the news last night and that it was unbelievable, then proceeded to play that s*x video on his tv. He also sent that video to our entire family group chat (which consists of over 20 people).
While I wasn’t there to watch her reaction, my brother told me she ended up throwing a tantrum and probably won’t be willing to file a joint petition. So yeah, she told him it was a drunk mistake and that he (my brother) isn’t serious about this. But my brother can file for a default divorce if she refuses to sign the divorce papers. Which he made sure to tell her.
I did get to see the gc reactions and let’s just say there were a lot of choice words said and her parents are absolutely horrified (they really like my brother). So far, no one is taking her side and they fully support my brother’s decision.
So yeah. Sorry this is so convoluted and long, but it’s hard to organize my thoughts. Summary: bf got arrested and will be out of my life for good (I hope). And my brother is in the process of divorce (having both sides of the family supporting him and his assets are protected).
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