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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/woolen_goose on 2024-04-28 06:10:27.


TLDR I ruined my boss’s personality test he pretended would be anonymous but we knew he was going to use it to profile employees he didn’t like.

Story: Had an evil middle manager boss who eventually lost 1/3 of the team in under three months. I had been there longer than him, before his position was built out. He was a really gross one, like psychological abuse and also openly commented on a 16 year old celebrity being “hot” when was 36.

Anyway, when he was onboarded, he pretty quickly assessed which employees he couldn’t bully and started trying to make our lives harder.

He started doing some “anonymous” reviews and tests. Not surprisingly, some anonymous feedback was super negative for the people on his shit list even if we were high performing or project leads.

I finally had enough of attempting to talk it out head on. He always denied everything and even once actually asked me if I was on drugs (wtf) during a 1:1.

This was / is a HUGELY FAMOUS tech company.

Anyway, he decided it was time for another round of anonymous testing. This time a personality test.

I answered every question imagining I was him. Every single one.

To nobody’s surprise he was like “surprise we are going to all reveal and see which result we have on the screen now yay!”

I matched him perfectly. The only one. He got the absolute psychopath result but it also says like “entrepreneur and celebrity” so he would have been thrilled but-

He knew we were very different, yet somehow we had the exact same result. Out of like 20+ possibilities. When he pulled up the results on screen his face dropped. He stared directly at me, immediately breaking the character who was excited for sharing the “secret” results.

I watched him choke down his anger as he pretended to go down the list, now unprepared. Every other sentence out of his mouth suddenly was how unreliable these tests can be and that “you never know.”

As he dug his hole deeper, explaining backwards regarding this time wasting team wide meeting for his stupid exercise originally intended to single out some folks based upon a personality test, I finally found my opportunity. I smiled at him.

I smiled with eye contact.

No words, everything was said there.

I watched him die inside and he still had to fill 25 minutes of his stupid meeting or call it off.

I have another malicious compliance story about him (he was an absolute clown, I bet I have more if I think harder) but this is my fave quiet little moment where I ruined his total concept of self in one second by doing exactly what asked of me: waste my time to take his stupid personality test.

(ETA typos)

ETA 2 I may have joyfully shouted “yay [boss name ] !!! We’re twins!” when he pulled up the results.