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The original was posted on /r/hobbydrama by /u/pillowcase-of-eels on 2024-05-05 13:03:08.
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up.
This is where you live now.
In this installment, we finally take a closer look at how Emilie Autumn’s hyper-loyal fanbase gradually started losing faith in her as, among other things, it became more and more apparent that she… wasn’t exactly a reliable narrator – in her semi-autobiographical book, or in general.
HOW IT STARTED: A WOMAN OF MYSTERY
Willow, weep for me
Don’t think I don’t see
This life I’m living in two
But still it’s something I must do
I’m not unique in this
Nor am I special, sweet, or kind
I court a thousand smiles
Yet I keep my own to hide behind (“Willow”, 2004 🎵)
I’ve previously referred to EA as an “expert vagueposter”, and this is relevant here.
For an artist who built her brand on a pledge of raw, rats-and-all honesty, EA has always been quite guarded about the specifics of her personal life. (Until her current partner, for instance, she always danced around calling anyone a boyfriend, even when the nature of the relationship was pretty obvious.) Her whole angle is telling “the truth”, but through whimsical fantasy. As early as the fairy-themed Enchant era, she had her own world, her own vernacular; she spoke in metaphors, in-jokes, and quirky anachronisms. Taxis were carriages, her electric keyboard was a harpsichord, she always capitalized Time and Art like Shakespeare does. On the Asylum forum, automatic word filters would change “fan” to “muffin”, “fairy” to “faerie”, “bra” to “teacup holder”, and “responsibility” to “ratsponsibility”.
She’s a chatterbox who loves to share memories and funny anecdotes, but she usually keeps them short and sweet, Snapple-facts style. 📝 She’s great at painting by touches in her storytelling, revealing just enough to let your imagination auto-complete the rest. 🔍 Even the most banal tidbits are very artfully told, very “on brand”, often dense with symbolism and foreshadowing – but also very abstracted.
She is especially elusive when it comes to her background and formative years. See the way she catches herself in this interview 📺📝 while describing her “favorite scar”, which is from an eel bite: “My – well, someone I knew… [gasp-laugh] had it as a pet, and…” (She was about to say “my sister”.)
In short, the way EA talks about her life is often very personal, but not all that candid – and sounds more like it’s meant to provide a curated, coherent backstory for Emilie Autumn the character, rather than Emilie Autumn the person.
I’ll tell the truth, all my songs
Are pretty much the fucking same
I’m not a fairy but I need
More than this life, so I became
This creature representing more to you
Than just another girl… (“Swallow”, 2006 🎵)
In the beginning, this guardedness naturally contributed to the mystique. It made it all the more special when, once in a while, she would briefly drop the theatrics to share something earnest and relatively unfiltered. Like this composed, but vulnerable post from 2004 📝 about her father losing his battle to cancer, and her attempts at closure over their tense relationship. Or this 2012 anti-bullying campaign thing 📺 in which she opens up about being a target of intense physical bullying in elementary school, to a point that contributed to her being homeschooled at 9.
Fans in the early years were curious about her backstory, of course – but not too prodding or invasive, to my knowledge. I think there was an understanding that EA, like many performers, wanted to come across as human and approachable, while still cultivating an “aura” and retaining some privacy. But obviously, when she announced that she was writing a Tell-All Memoir in 2007, everyone was dying to read it. TEA TIME!
HOW IT’S GOING: A WOMAN OF… MALARKEY???
LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! (“Liar”, 2006 🎵)
As we’ve learned, the original 2009 release of EA’s book was highly anticipated, but somewhat tainted by a bunch of shipping delays and unfulfilled promises. From the start of her career, EA had always cultivated a close parasocial involvement with her audience; many fans had as deep an attachment to her, personally, as they did to her art. So, for instance, when EA tweeted about all the personal dedications she was lovingly writing in overdue books, only for the books to arrive many months later and unsigned with no tangible explanation, it wasn’t simply frustrating: it was betrayal amongst kin!
Really, it wasn’t so much about fans not getting what they paid for – it was about the lack of clear communication or genuine accountability. This is pure speculation on my part, but the poppycock that EA tweeted about signing the books strikes me as the panic-lie of someone who hadn’t realized just how many heartfelt, personalized dedications she would actually have to write when she came home from tour. And then she just couldn’t do it, because she was overworked, paralyzed, distracted, depressed, procrastinating, whatever. Which… you know… is unfortunate, but probably not unforgivable. Especially for a touring performer who is open and vocal about their mental health issues.
I’m confident that most fans would have been happy to tell her that her well-being meant more to them than an autograph, or something along those lines. Instead, EA’s cagey and avoidant demeanor around this issue left fans very salty – and newly suspicious of their favorite artist’s word.
Which was regrettable timing for EA, because they had just received their copies of her memoir.
Here’s a cursory look at some key biographical points that didn’t hold up to scrutiny when more and more vexed fans, over the years, started looking into them.
Content warning until end of post: family estrangement, death by fire, worsening physical health issues, mention of disordered eating / weight loss / thinspiration, and LIES! LIES! LIIIIIES!
“EMILIE AUTUMN LIDDELL (BORN SEPTEMBER 22, 1979) IS AN AMERICAN SINGER-SONGWRITER…” (Wikipedia)
Every fandom has its Holy Grail. Because a number of EA’s early releases were limited pressings put out through now-defunct record labels, the EA fandom in its heyday was a collector’s wonderland. 📝🦠 At the height of her popularity, the original Enchant jewelcase (the one with the puzzle-poster) could easily fetch around $500 dollars on eBay, unsigned. The handwritten lyrics of an Opheliac B-side went for $940 in 2009. Don’t even ask me about the hard copies of her two poetry books: those never even popped up over the five or six years that I had various alerts set up for all EA-related listings.
But the true crown jewel of EA rarities is the untitled promo version of her (also virtually unfindable) 2001 instrumental debut On a Day… No one knows how many copies exist. The darn thing is so rare that it’s not even listed on Discogs. For a while, the only picture of the elusive “Violin” promo CD that was circulated online was this one.🪞 Go ahead, click the link. Notice anything odd? That black box where one composer’s birth year should be?
I’m not sure why the notorious hyper-fan who originally shared this picture on the forum in the early 2010s took it upon himself to censor it before posting. I wasn’t able to pinpoint when or why people started questioning EA’s age, but clearly, something had already transpired to let him know that not redacting said birth year might, uh… cause an upset. In any case: at some point, people started digging – and eventually, the unredacted version of the “Violin” tracklist (as well as public records and literal receipts from eBay auctions) would be brandished as one more piece of damning evidence that EA was indeed (gasp!) two years older than she claimed to be.
“Okay, and?” you shrug. “What’s the big deal?” I’m shrugging too! What can I say? People don’t like realizing they’ve been fooled, even about something stupid. I will note that EA’s fall equinox birthday (hence her …
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