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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/slightlypettyj on 2023-07-27 03:10:20.


Hey everyone! I (29f) and my fiancé (27m) are having a disagreement about if I’m becoming the ahole in this situation or not, so I’m turning to Reddit for help. About 2 weeks ago fiancés mother (51f) came over to our house for coffee and to visit fiancé, they are very close due to him being an only child so this isn’t weird plus his parents live about 6 houses down from us. Well about 5 mins into the visit FMIL turns to fiancé and asks “Has Jessica lost any weight?” Side note I am a 5 foot tall curvy woman. My fiancé was shocked and said “ I don’t know I haven’t asked why?” She said “ Because I always pictured you with a princess or mermaid. You know someone taller and thinner. I just feel bad I didn’t say something sooner and intervened in the relationship before it got this far.” My fiancé said he was shocked after that and didn’t know to say other than “what the fuck.” His mother left after that and my fiancé told me what happened when I got home. I obviously was devastated. His mother and I had an amazing relationship before this and were extremely close. They dont have a lot of family here in the US due to them immigrating from another country and she has a hard time speaking English so I always tried to include her in things my fiancé and I were doing so she wasn’t alone when her husband worked weekends. I tried to learn their native language so she could feel more comfortable communicating with me. I tried so hard to be the best daughter in law. And now I feel like it was all fake on her part. And that her I love you’s which she always said mean nothing. The following day we had her over to “explain” her side but she just doubled down and said it to my face and that she is “so relieved to tell me this, that it’s a huge weight off her shoulders, and I hope this doesn’t change our relationship. ” I cried and my fiancé told her to leave, I have not directly spoken to her since and my fiancé is starting to say that I’m kind of being an ahole because I won’t even speak to her to accept her apology. Am I being an ahole? Thank you!