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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/poe-one on 2023-07-27 11:01:27.

Back story;

My(m37) girlfriend(f34) and i were in a bus crash last November. My girlfriend broke her hip in 2 places and didnt walk for 2 months. Obviously this has affected her mental health as well as her physical health. I came out of it relatively unscathed. I have a trapped nerve in my left shoulder and elbow that effects my finger dexterity. But not even close to the pain and trauma she suffered. I was with her the whole way through recovery. I cleaned her bed pans. I changed her sheets. I took time off work to look after and care for her. And i never thought twice about it because thats whay we do for those we love. And i do love her.

The problem;

I drive a motorbike. When we go places she will sit on the back. She is, understandably, very scared and nervous of being on the road. I drive slowly, 40 km per hour max.

Whenever she sees someone on the pavement she starts squeezing me with her legs. Sees a car driving even slightly eraticly she squeezes me. If she sees another motorbike coming out of an alleyway she squeezes me with her legs.

When she squeezes me i immediately assume something is wrong. That she might see a potential accident that i dont see. I get flustered and i think its dangerous. It puts me on edge and unbalances me a little, which is dangerous on a motorbike. In addition to that we live in South East Asia and its hot as balls out here and the squeezing makes it even hotter, but thats a minor issue for me. For me its more about safety.

We have talked about therapy, for both of us, but its just not in our budget as we are still paying off hospital bills.

Would i be the asshole if i asked her to stop squeezing me when i drive? I wouldnt be shouting at her or anything. Just ask her and explain to her that its dangerous and ask her to try to stop?

I feel like id be an asshole considering everything she has been through.