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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawaylefty56 on 2023-07-27 19:37:43.

I (33M) am getting married next summer.

I invited a friend from university to my wedding but intentionally did not give him a plus one for his wife.

His wife and I do not get on. She attended university with us, and we had our fair share of fights then and a rather large fuss some 5 odd years ago.

We live on opposite sides of our country and only see each other a couple times a year (if that) for special occasions like other friends’ weddings. His wife and I can be generally cordial now but mostly avoid or ignore one another.

They got married around 4 years ago, and I was not invited to their wedding. My friend told me (in no uncertain terms) that he wanted me there, but his wife did not and that he chose to respect her wishes on her big day. I was disappointed but understanding and never let it affect our friendship.

I am having a big wedding and all guests with spouses, fiancés, and serious bf/gfs are getting plus ones, except for said friend. It is not a numbers issue, I simply do not want his wife in attendance.

I have considered the likelihood that my friend will rsvp no given the lack of a plus one, but I am okay with this outcome.

I have no intention of telling him ahead of time that most others are getting a plus one, but I’m aware that he is most likely going to find out.

My fiancé and I obviously discussed this matter, and she is fully supportive of this decision.

Other friends that I have spoken to tell me that I’m being ruthless and basically should not have even invited my friend if I wasn’t going to give him a plus one for his wife.

So… am I the ahole?