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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Reclused_revolution on 2023-07-28 02:16:13.

I posted this on r/amiwrong but it is proving to be a mixed bag so I’m going here for the nail.

I enjoy going on runs/hikes on the trails around where I live. There’s a variety of trails with varying degrees on mileage and incline. I go to these to walk or run in line with my training program or just for fun.

I have a friend who I’ve known and been close with since middle school. Recently, he has asked to come along on these for some exercise. I was fine with this, until he asked if his girlfriend could come along. I didn’t know her well but I accepted and it was a fine time.

But then she began coming to all of the trail walks. I usually wouldn’t care, but she ends up complaining a lot, and needing breaks. I would be ok with this except it would be less than a mile in and she would continue to stop our group intermittently even when we tried to keep a specific pace. When I would try to keep going she made comments about me being inconsiderate. Often the walks/runs were ~3 miles.

I explained the problem to my friend, that if we wanted to keep this up, she needed to be prepared or not come at all. In all honesty I don’t know if she was inviting herself or if my friend was inviting her but regardless I make my intention with this clear. He said he would talk but that was 2 weeks ago.

Yesterday, I was planning on going on a long hike, about 6 miles with a lot of hills and a couple cliff-like areas. I made it clear I was looking for a specific pace when I asked my friend if he wanted to come, and he accepted, even mentioning that his gf was busy. I thought all was fine.

When we met at the parking lot, I saw that his girlfriend ended up coming anyways. I was not in the mood to be stopping but I assumed she would be doing a much easier/shorter trail. When I asked her, said she was doing ours.

I will admit I was a bit curt/ fed up when I spoke, but I straight up asked her if she would be able to do it or if she would need a break every 5 minutes like previous times. She got immediately offended, and asked me if I was serious. I simply recalled each time we had a walk in the same group and reaffirmed that I was serious. When my friend looked at me, I asked him if he really thought she could make the full trail when she struggled with a low incline, 2.5 mile walk last time.

She called me an asshole and went and sat in their car, waiting for my friend I assume. I just started the trail and my friend followed. He didn’t say anything about it, except a “sorry about that”, and he turned off his phone.

Am I wrong for questioning her? Or should I have let her come, but deal with the consequences. I admit I struggle with being a little too honest at times, but I feel that this time could be reasonable? But I’m not sure.