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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/avylol08 on 2023-07-28 12:12:39.

I have been together with my husband 6 years married almost 4. He has always had a bit of an incontinence issue that pops up at the very least 1-2 times a month. We’ve tried putting towels or training pads down but it’s such a heavy volume of pee when he wets the bed, nothing works. I’ve never gotten especially upset because I try being understanding and sensitive to his needs. It usually just means a little extra laundry work for me and I know it embarrases him enough already, he’d rather just pretend he didn’t do anything. Tonight was kind of the last straw I think, this literally happened like an hour ago.

I am 3 months pregnant, currently fighting off an aggressive cold and have had an extremely tough time sleeping at night/ staying asleep at night. Tonight was no exception. Que usual routine of husband going to bed at 9pm and me tossing, turning and getting up to pee every hour until finally falling asleep around 2am.

I woke up at about 4:15, 15 minutes before my husbands alarm goes off, and noticed the bed was soaked. I was sleeping in half a PUDDLE and could hardly process what has happening. Even with his worst accidents, I rarely wake up with a wet side. We have a fairly big bed and are usually pretty particular about staying on our personal side of the bed. For some reason my husband chose to sleep in the middle of the bed this time causing him to soak me in the process.

I did my best to get up and clean myself off but our street literally has a water shut off for repairs right now so all I can use are wipes. My pregnancy hormones kick in and the smell is too much for me to handle. I tried to not wake him up but my gagging from the bathroom caused it.

He came to the bathroom grumpy and accused me of taking his underwear off because he woke up without them on for some reason. He didn’t even ask if I was okay or anything and I’ll admit maybe getting upset at this point was unhelpful but it made me so mad.

“you probably took them off when you noticed you pissed everywhere and then went back to sleep. My side of the bed and my blanket and even pillows are soaked, I can’t even go back to sleep because your accident was in the middle of the bed covering basically the entire thing.”

He yelled back that “at least you don’t have to go to work smelling like piss like I do”

“you need to start wearing diapers to bed because I can’t handle any of this sh** right now. Clean yourself off in the bathroom at work.”

He shot a few expletives at me while getting dressed and then walked out. I am literally exhausted and am probably going to go sleep on the couch when I finish this. But, AITA here?

I do feel like I should add here incontinence runs in his family and both his mother and I keep telling him he needs to go see a doctor but he refuses help because he’s a bit of an alcoholic and believes doctors will only blame his issues on his drinking. His drinking has been a longstanding issue we have but for the most part I believe it’s irrelevant to the situation.