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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GreyBlue_exe on 2023-07-28 12:13:12.

I (20f) am thinking about not going to my sister’s (23f) wedding.

Here’s the reason: She is an egoistic, self-centered narcissist and has made my life worse for as long as I can remember. She’s been bad to many other people as well (including my whole family) but it has always seemed to me that she’s had it out for me specifically. I don’t know why she’s behaving like this towards me, I can only speculate that it might be jealousy because I’ve been the academically successful one.

I’ve always tried co-existing with her, only interacting when necessary, but it didn’t go too well.

I’ll give you a few examples;

  • when we still lived with our parents, I refused to let her use my printer because she yelled and insulted me an hour prior and when I did so, she lost it and threw a hot-water bottle at me.
  • She called me and my whole family the c-word over a Wifi router.
  • She called my mom the c-word and told her to shut the f up (which is just not normal in our family, not even saying “shut your mouth” is), after she refused to babysit her 2 bulldogs for over a week because 1) it stressed out our own dog and 2) she has to work and take care of my little sister and the household as well. Mind you, she had babysitted the dogs before for a day or two, but over a week because my sister wants to go on vacation with her boyfriend and the responsibility to care for her dogs is in the way now, is too much.
  • And the most recent incident; (context: she did an apprenticeship as a mechanic) She heard something I said which could indicate that I was planning on being drunk and stuff (actually I was talking about PokémonGo lmao, I rarely drink) and instead of asking me then and there, she went to my mom a week later and asked her if I have a problem with drinking. My mom, who is VERY sensible in regards to drinking because of a traumatic experience, called me and asked me about it. I said no and asked where my sister got that from and she said she didnt know, so I texted her about it and she immediately called me disrespectful, again insulted my personality and everything about me, pulled the"you’re uninvited to my wedding" card (they got engaged a week prior) and lastly told me I should be careful that nothing is going to happen to me in my car (implying harming me indirectly by sabotaging my car), after which she blocked me.

Then, she gave my mom an invitation for me and my bf (still blocked me though). I’ve had enough and I want to make a clear cut and not have her in my life anymore. I feel as if it’ll never stop if I don’t cut her out now and it will always go back and forth with this. She never apologizes, not to me, not to my mom or anyone else, she just pretends everything is back to normal and I dont want that to happen.

Everyone is telling me they understand but I should go to keep the family peace.

I am not sure what to do. Would I be the a-hole?

Thank you for the advice in advance!