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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/IGoonLikeTheYoung on 2024-06-14 12:43:20+00:00.

One of the biggest differrences between city and rural here is the city birds. I can’t remember their name in English. I think pigeons? When living where I lived I never saw them. So I’m kinda fascinated by how they just sit around with humans. And there’s a lot of them in public places. Eating humans’ food they throw away and some humans even feed them

So I sit there waiting for the train. Suddenly these two birds come close to me. One is really close. So close in fact, I can touch it. It sits down next to me on the bench. I put out my hand out for it, expecting it to go away. It doesn’t. It just stays there. So I try touching the bird. I was thinking, maybe I can pet it, like petting a cat you know? These birds are that domestic after all.

Once I touch this bird, and it flies up. I take away my hand and it sits down next to my open bag. I bought croissants from the convenience store before, it probably sees the empty plastic bag in there. I’m not gonna give the bird anything ofcourse. Fuck that bird, he doesn’t want to be pet so I’m done with him. I move my foot towards the bird, and it flies away in panic. I do not look at the bird again

Big mistake. A few moments later I feel something fall on my right side, my head and shoulder. I look up and see THE BIRD. It sits there head towards the wall, behind just over the edge. It sits exactly above me! I look at my shoulder and I see a liquid with white in there lying on it…

TL;DR I touched a pigeon without consent and it shat on me