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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Competitive_Mall6401 on 2023-07-28 15:08:23.

My (m42) five sisters in law (f ages late 30s to late 50s) pretty regularly say things to/about me that are really hurtful and emasculating. For example, one SIL has called me my wife’s “man slave” because I usually get my wife a drink when I get myself one from the bar. Another commented on how helpful I was being at a family wedding by immediately comparing me to a trained dog (my wife and I have two well trained aussies) even going through various tricks I would presumably do for treats. She acted out a whole skit about the tricks I would do as I walked away. This week my wife (f40) and I drove 5 hours to celebrate her youngest sister finishing the bar exam, and within 5 minutes of us getting there she referred to me in a group as my wife’s “gay best friend.” This was after months of me texting her encouragement and answering her questions as she studied (I am barred in the same state as she took).

Literally no one else in my life says or does anything like this. I’m secure in my manhood, but this is weirdly consistent from them as a group, and is hurtful. I don’t think they mean it to be, as when I have mentioned one sister’s behavior to another individually, the general reaction is “wtf? Why would she do that?” And then they’ll proceed to do something very similar. Maybe they don’t realize what it sounds like?

My wife doesn’t think it would be a good idea to confront them about this, but we have family events coming up with them and I want it to stop. WIBTA if I sent a group text? What would you do?

EDIT: Please stop calling my wife an asshole. She would absolutely have taken this in hand long ago if she thought it would help. We’re both analytical, and a lot more likely to discuss things together rather than act out in the moment. We have discussed it, and she is just as baffled by this behavior as I am. Knowing her sisters, she thinks it would not benefit the situation for her to say something.

Thanks for all the advice, I like a good old “yiiiiikes” in response to future comments the best so far.