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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Honeydew_3655 on 2023-07-29 10:52:02.

My fiance and I are getting married next year. I’ve had my eyes set on an extremely competitive venue in October. There is only 1 available day for us that works for my family, and it happens to fall on his ‘girl best friend’s birthday. There are several reasons as to why I’m dead set on October. I have always dreamed of a fall wedding, September is difficult for me because it is when my brother passed, and November doesn’t really work with our family’s travel schedules.

My issue is more with how my fiance approached the issue of his friends birthday and the potential wedding date overlapping rather than him not wanting those on the same day. Instead of asking me if there is any way we can compromise (which, really there isn’t but I’d appreciate that thought), he went off on me saying that it’s Veronica’s birthday and “I know that.” and that I “can’t be upset” when he puts off celebrating our anniversary for her birthday. It felt like he was accusing me of purposefully plotting to … stop them from celebrating together?

This died down a bit and then when I was talking about the guest meals. I spoke with the planner and she suggested that, to help with costs, the bride and groom will be served fish (I am pescatarian), along with select family members who are pescatarian, and everyone else will be served chicken. I have all the fish eaters together so people don’t feel confused or offended by them being offered different, somewhat cheaper food. He then argued with me that Veronica loves fish, and I should put her down for fish as well. I told him I didn’t want guests to be upset at her getting fish while sitting with other guests and them not having the option. If it was dietary it would be different, but he says no, Veronica is a picky eater and that’s essentially the same as not eating chicken by choice for health/ethic reasons.

It felt like I was walking on eggshells as we kept getting into fights about Veronica and our wedding. He told me that he was talking about our cake in a group chat of his and she wanted him to suggest a different flavor combo to me since she said a wedding she went to prior had the same and she did not like it.

I flipped out for once and just screamed that it’s OUR, MY, wedding- me and him, NOT hers. It’s okay to have opinions but hers literally do not matter this one singular time. He told me I was out of line and had a clear dislike for Veronica despite her trying to be helpful and I am bitter of their friendship. He left and hasn’t told me where he is staying, and he won’t be coming home until I admit fault and promise to be “more accepting” of his female friend(s). I honestly try my best to be nice despite how rudely she treats me. She basically flat out ignores me. Our friends seem to not want to get involved. I expected them to have my back and now I’m questioning if I’m crazy (and an Ahole).