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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Alternative_Bug_9443 on 2023-07-29 16:23:04.

This is a throwaway because i don’t want people outside of family to know this is me

My (44 M) younger brother T (37 M) and I had been in a huge fight in the last few days due to a recent event that happened in my family

To give you some context, T had a girlfriend in his early 20s. We didn’t had a lot of interactions and they broke up. He never told me exactly why

Well, turns out he got her pregnant and when she told him, he simply said he didn’t wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. She gave birth to L(15M), no one in my family knew about it since they never spoke again

The information that i got from his social worker isn’t a lot, but this is everything I managed to gather: L and his mother lived together for two years before he was taken away from her due to neglect. Since then, L went from foster home to foster home. All I can say is that the system wasn’t nice on him and he endured a lot in it. He has partial hearing loss, apparently has PTSD and behavioral issues due to his surroundings

Im not sure how they got the information that we are his bio family, probably his bio mother finally told on T. I don’t know if Im angrier about him never telling us that he got another girl pregnant or that he simply send her away

Anyways, his social worker talked to my brother and asked him to take L in. T asked for a DNA test and its 100% his child. L was introduced to my family and, honestly, L is a lovely kid. Everyone thought he would be difficult to deal with, but he’s just a kid who desperately needs a family and somewhere safe away everything he endured

But, T said that he was not going to take L in. He explained that he has another family now. To say i was angry is an understatement. I just can’t understand how dare him, knowing everything he went through and knowing that if he says no, L will be forced back into this system that failed him countless times, to reject him

I fought a lot with my brother, but he wouldn’t budge, saying that he can’t bring an unknown child with mental problems to his house that he has small children in

So yesterday, I reached out to his social worker and asked her if I could be the one to foster L. I explained to her my brothers motives (about the small children) and told her that I wouldn’t have that problem since my children are older than L and it would be better for L to get used to his family that way. They liked the idea and started to look into it, and my brother was notified of that

We got in a new argument. He said that I have no right to do what I am doing, that L is not real family. I said that he is rejecting his rights as a father to L, so he couldn’t tell me what to do with his child

My brother got involved. He scolded T, but said I over stepped when I asked to foster him, since he’s still Ts child and it was obvious that he doesn’t wants L around

Im not changing my mind if im actually the asshole, i wont let L into this system again, but I want to if AITA