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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AcadiaLeast1897 on 2023-07-29 18:54:50.

I need a ruling here.

My wife Barbara went to a bar to hear a band with a friend. I stayed home. Today, she mentioned she danced with an older guy while there (she’s 29, he was around 60- she said it wasn’t a slow dance.) I wasn’t mad (and we both spoke calmly the whole time) but I said she probably shouldn’t dance with other men (I pointed out that asking someone to dance is like asking if you can buy them a drink- it’s often, especially for men, a way to hit on them). I told her I wasn’t mad, I love her, and every was okay. I just would prefer she not dance with other guys.

My wife is very distraught now. She feels like she should have known better and feels foolish. I told her she shouldn’t feel foolish. I wasn’t mad, everything is fine. Now I feel like I might have been the asshole for even saying anything (we never raised voices, or argued or anything like that.)

So, am I the asshole?