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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PlutonianEnergy on 2023-07-29 20:16:39.

First off I work 12hr shifts at night 5pm to 5am. He doesn’t work he’s a SAHD so he could get therapy (it took him a year just to do one appointment but that’s a whole other story for another day). I usually let him sleep in and I did today as well. I have barely slept the past few days because of dental pain/work and I’m 14 weeks pregnant so I’m exhausted from feeling sick and tired all the time. So, of course, at 9:20 I storm out of the house (he’s still asleep) and go get coffee/breakfast for everyone. I get back obviously still upset about being so tired and it’s practically 10am at this point. I lock myself in the room (I’m in a 1 bedroom with 2 kids and he’s not on the lease) to try to eat/sleep in peace. The kids will not stop screaming or shooting toy guns. He’s just on his phone on the couch curled up.

I stormed out to sit on the steps and gather my thoughts and messaged him that when I came back he could either keep the kids quiet and let me sleep, take them somewhere, or he could leave himself. I don’t want to look at him when I’m so sleep deprived and he gets to sleep at night and sleep in cuz it’s just gonna piss me off. He stays up late playing videogames so it’s not like he HAS to stay up all night/day.

He said he didn’t know the kids were that loud and got pissed off saying he doesn’t know where to take them (we also live in a big city and there’s at least 2 libraries and parks near us, plus his mom and aunts). Mind you he could have just kept them quiet with a little effort and stayed here.

Am I truly the asshole in this situation? He left pissed off at me and yelling at the kids to hurry up. I also said if he’s that damn mad to just go himself before he left but he refused. He wouldn’t say “I love you” when he left which is his Hallmark being pissed off move. I didn’t say it either cuz I don’t want to play that game with him. I just want to sleep.

When I wake up I’ll read the replies on if I’m an asshole or not and if I am I’ll apologize. But right now I’m barely able to keep my eyes open to type this out. I’m so tired I might throw up.