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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-07-04 04:02:01+00:00.
I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/Prize_Blueberry_6407, account now deleted
Originally posted to u/TrueOffMyChest
My (19 m) brother-in-law (26 m) is convinced that I’m in love with him.
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, manipulation, threats, possible rape
Editor’s Note: In the original post, OOP made a mistake of using 2 different names for one person in the posts, I am using the 2nd name mentioned since it is used more frequently than the 1st name only used once.
Original Post: May 10, 2023
Pretty much what the title says. I’ve never posted on here before, but I do like to read the stories sometimes. Lets call my sister Diana and her boyfriend Mike. I’m the youngest of my three siblings, Diana, and my brother, who we’ll call Carlos. I came out as gay when I was 14, and my immediate family: my parents and siblings, were all supportive. My extended family, uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandparents are less accepting, so I don’t tend to be as out and open around them. I graduated high school and started college two years ago when I was 17. I go to the same college that my sister is doing grad school at, and to save costs, I’ve been staying with her and her then fiancé at their apartment.
Mike had always been really nice, and I was happy that my sister was with a nice guy. My siblings and I have always been super close, and that closeness didn’t go away when I started living with Diana, so I would often end up hanging out with them and their friends sometimes. The semester just ended for the two of us, and we all went home this weekend to stay with my parents. We had a big family dinner, during which Mike kept making little jokes about me liking older guys (my bf is 23) and how he would try to keep me away from him and his buddies. Me and my siblings questioned him about these jokes he was making, until he finally stopped making them. That was last night.
This morning, my siblings and my parents went on a hike, which is a family activity that we usually enjoy thanks to us living close to the woods. I slept in and no one wanted to bother me, so they went without me. I figured that everyone had gone, but when I was eating my cereal in the living room and watching TV, Mike came out of the kitchen and sat next to me. I was surprised to see him, as I figured that he would’ve gone on the hike, but I guess not. He started by apologizing for making fun of me, and then said that it was just a nervous tick of his when he didn’t want to talk about something serious. He said that it was wrong of him to joke about my crush on him. I was super confused and asked for clarification, and he said that he knew about the crush I have on him (which I don’t).
I asked him why he would think that, and he cited a few things that he took as me liking him: 1) That I would always hang out with him and Diana. 2) That I chose to live with them instead of dorms. 3) That he barely knew my boyfriend. And 4) That I didn’t bring my boyfriend to their wedding. I tried to tell him that he was insane and that none of that meant I liked him, and they all had real explanations, but he just insisted that I was just trying to cover up the fact that I was in love with him. That was a few hours ago. I haven’t told anyone in my family this yet, and I didn’t have lunch with my family since I’ve had plans to be out with high school friends all day. One friend suggested that I post this here, so I guess that’s why I’m doing this. I’ll be sure to update if anything serious happens. Thanks for reading, lol.
Small Update (Not sure if I should’ve made this its own post, but if I should’ve, let me know!):
Hello everyone! I had no idea that this would take off the way it did. I have a bit of a small update. I spent the night at my friend’s house last night (this was planned before any of this). This morning I woke up and saw all of your comments and speculations. I took some time to reflect on the two main possibilities that ya’ll seem to have come up with.
Either A) he’s one of those straight guys that thinks that all gay guys are attracted to him (definitely met a few of those), or B) He likes me and is projecting it, or trying to make it sound like my idea. After thinking about it a lot, I think that it is more likely to be the second option. I am a person who really loves physical displays of affection, like hugs and cuddles and stuff. My siblings and I are super close like I said, so I was used to showing my affection this way.
Looking back, I realize that Mike was more than willing to show affection this way, as my sister is the same. Mike and Diana had been dating since high school, but I only really got to know him in the last two years at college. He was always open to physical affection with me, right off the bat. There have been many comments that he has made that I took as harmless at the time, but now with the context, I realize may have been clues. He would almost always ask me how he looked, like, before he went out for the day, and would, in turn, compliment me back. I took things that he said as jokes, like when he told me that my ass looked good in an outfit, or he would tell me that I looked just like my sister (who is gorgeous). I always took this as him being nice, but now I’m not sure if that was his only intention.
Anyway, to the actual update. This morning, I called for a sibling meeting at a diner that we like to go to. Sibling meetings are something that we’ve been doing since we were kids, where we’d talk about things like convincing our parents to get us a pet or splitting the household chores.
We met at the diner for brunch, and my brother immediately went on and said how weird it was that Mike was making jokes about me. Diana said that he was still making jokes to her privately after dinner and that it wasn’t the first time he had made those types of jokes. She said that she figured that he was one of those guys who thought that gay guys liked him, but then I told them about his “apology” yesterday morning, and all the comments and other jokes he’s made, and we all think it was pretty weird. I showed them my post and they briefly read through the comments as well. My sister said that she would talk to him about it, and told me that no matter what happened, she would never hold anything against me, or blame me for anything, so that was reassuring. We had food and I went back to my friend’s house and my sister said she would let me know if anything happens.
I also texted my boyfriend about all this. He’s British, so we have a bit of a time difference. he hasn’t responded, but I want to be sure to keep him in the loop as well. I’m currently with my friends, watching them play a video game and pretending to know what’s going on lol. I’ll keep y’all updated.
Comments
Orphan_Izzy: By Mike’s theory with every example he gave you you also have a crush on your sister so I might point that out to him unless you think he’d actually believe it.
o_Olive_You_o: Did he stay behind in hopes of talking to you alone? Maybe the real issue is he has developed a crush on you… If he continues making jokes or what not then I might consider saying something to your sister, but if it ends here… I would try to bring your BF around a little more. I don’t even understand why he felt the need to bring it up to you… kinda weird.
Update: June 27, 2024 (1 year and 1 month later)
Hello everyone!
I would first like to say thank you all for your support in the comments of my last post and in your guys’ private messages to me. After the last mini update, I had logged off of reddit and a lot of things have happened so I honestly kind of forgot that I even had this account still.
Coincidentally, I was on TikTok a while ago when I found one of those ai voice accounts that read reddit stories over someone playing Minecraft parkour. Those types of videos are like weeds, once you see one of them, your entire timeline gets flooded with them. Earlier today, a video with part of my reddit post came across my fyp, and the comments were full of people asking if there was any updates.
It has been over a year, and I am so sorry for keeping you all in the dark. I saw that my last post was archived and nobody could comment on it, so I figured I should make a new post, for those of you who might be seeing me for the first time ever, I believe you can find my first post on my page. I would recommend reading that before you read this one. I would also like to issue a trigger warning for sexual assault. Now, onto the whole mess that was the past year for me.
So, the last time I updated y’all was in May of last year. Me and my siblings were all on summer break from college, and were home for the summer. So, the day after I talked to my siblings at the diner, I returned home from my friend’s house and everything seemed normal. My sister informed me that she had talked to her boyfriend, that he had seemed more receptive to her concerns, and he was a lot more calm towards me. He stayed with us until the end of that week, where no further incident occurred between us, before he left to go visit his own family (he’s on the complete other side of the coun…
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