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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/zerozerolsy on 2023-07-30 10:12:01.

i, 24f currently live alone in a small apartment. i love my apartment, and i especially love living alone.

for background, when i was about 16, my great grandfather passed away. he had raised me, and i had lived in the house with my sister and him my whole life. the house was owned by his daughter, who is my cousins grandma. shortly after he died, my cousin, who i will call B, and her mother moved in. B’s mom moved into my grandpas room and made B sleep in my room, which i hated, especially since she was about 8 at this time. B’s mom even slept in my grandpas bed. she didn’t even change the sheets, which is besides the point, but still makes my blood boil just to think about it to this day.

after moving in, B’s mother convinced her mother to kick me and my sister out, and she got what she wanted. my sister moved into her own apartment, and i moved in with my mom. my mom lost her apartment shortly after that, so i was homeless for a little while before my sister asked me to come live with her.

recently i ran into B, now almost 16, who i have not spoken to since my sister and i got kicked out. i don’t hold any of this against her, since it was not her fault, but at the same time i don’t want anything to do with her or her side of the family. we did exchange phone numbers, since i thought it would rude to say no when she asked, and went out separate ways a few minutes after seeing each other.

not even ten minutes after we parted, she texted me asking for money. i told her no, which was not a lie. i barely make enough to pay my rent and bills, and almost never have anything left over.

it escalated from there, from her asking me to buy her alcohol, to more money, and now, to asking to come stay with me. all of these were answered with no. other than her asking me for these things, she does not speak to me.

about a year ago, her mom passed away and she went to stay with our aunt. from what i know, our aunt kicked her out because she was disrespectful.

the problem is i feel guilty about telling her no. while it’s not much, i do have the room to let her stay with me, even if i wouldn’t be able to do anything else to provide for her. like i said, i was homeless myself when i was 17, and it was the worst experience of my life. i still have nightmares about it, and i hate to think of anyone going through what i did. so i feel like by telling her no, i’m willingly letting her go through what i did when i have the power to change it.

at the same time, B is essentially a stranger to me. i know nothing about her or what she’s like.

i don’t know. am i the asshole?

edit- i have called cps. they basically told me unless she calls them first there’s nothing they can do. they won’t help her