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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/TouristNo865 on 2024-07-06 12:15:38+00:00.

Its going to sound like it’s fairly reasonable to start. But trust me it gets silly real quick!

Had just started work at one of the big railway companies as a safety officer/customer service rep. Now as you can imagine that is basically herding sheep and not very effectively. People have places to go but I’d rather they didn’t end up dead.

During probation one of the bosses got moved to my station, now this guy could not have fit the police description of up-his-bosses-arse more if he’d tried. Looked like he spent the last 40 years dreaming of having a badge on with significance and by God he was gonna use it.

On the platform of every station there is a yellow line on the floor, few feet from the edge, to signify where not to walk lest the turbulence turns you into a trains doormat. Simple stuff, and when a train is pulling up you’re to keep everyone behind it. No issues so far, that’s literally my job.

Now for weeks he’d been a stickler for his way but he would mask it as “this came from head office” but on this particular day, whatever bee was in his bonnet came out in full force and he was masking nothing.

Once a train was stopped so long as you don’t have a full gaggle at the door we usually have no issues with one or two people (you know, the London crowd who won’t wait) being next to the door ready, it’s efficient if nothing else.

The train had stopped, three people were waiting for the doors to open, they did, the train left. This guy starts shouting from literally the other platform, in front of other travellers, roasting the crap of me. Safety yes, but this was obscene. So he decided to enact a rule of his own

“If you want to pass this probation i want to see everyone behind that yellow line for a full 30 seconds before you signal to let the doors open. If a single person moves you talk to them about safety and wait again”

“So let me get this straight, that 30 seconds resets for every time someone else doesn’t listen and crosses the line”

“Did I stutter?”

Did you fucking what? Oh you’re on sweet child!

Across that day, I was honestly looking at my watch more than I was anything else. Remember, it’s for your safety after all! Plot twist? Dual line station, one into the city, one on the way to London. No way past it. If a train is delayed, nothing else moves.

Cue about two hours later and sure enough the dweeb ass manager comes charging down the platform

“what the hell are all these delays for?! I’ve got head office tearing us a new one!”

“Just making sure we adhere to the thirty seconds boss! I’ve never had so much feedback about safety!”

“Well the feedback I’m getting is we now have a near ten train bottleneck at this station”

“Firstly, it’s you have a bottleneck not us, second I’m merely doing exactly as you asked”

His face dropped, clearly understanding what had happened

“Right then well you can talk to the area manager and explain this for yourself because he’s going to be here in about fifteen minutes”

“He’s coming here? HAH! DEAL!”

Did he go as white as a ghost? Yes. Did he try stopping me seeing the area manager? Yes Was he successful? Hell no!

What ensued was maybe a twenty minute conversation between me and the area manager, me finding out that this manager had been moved more than a few times for “various issues”, the meeting between them two lasted probably 90 seconds if that and then a very sheepish looking manager slowly slinked up to me and in the lowest voice ever said “you’re doing a good job, I trust you to use your judgement with the onboarding process” and then immediately scuttled away.

He’s moved on since, but apparently it was a personal request this time…can’t think why.