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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-River1639 on 2023-07-30 17:33:02.

After 11 years of no contact, I, 25F, and my mother, 49F recently began talking again. I got pregnant at 14, with my daughter, and my mother disowned me but we recently got in contact. While I know getting pregnant so young wasn’t the best idea, it was definitely the best decision as my mum was an absolute monster growing up and it lead to her getting out of my life as soon as possible, without me feeling guilty; The names she hurled, having a parent who is adamant they are always right and just making my life that little bit more miserable, also as soon as I started getting older, she became health obsessed and would out much smaller amount of food on my plate so I didn’t end up being “fatter” and snacks were removed from the house and leftovers were very much given to our pet dog, who would literally get more food than me and my brother combined.

We started speaking again as I believed she’d change and so me, my husband Brad, our daughters and son, went over for Sunday lunch, and everything was fine. The roast dinner was like it was when I was a young child and I truly believed she’d left her time as a unhealthy eating habits behind, but half way through the meal, she stopped us, started taking our plates away, and when my husband asked why, she said:

“I purposely gave you more food than usual for leftovers dog, Anna knows I wouldn’t feed her or the kiddies this much in case they became little fatties, but I probably should have gave little Delilah a little less as she getting on the tubby side” -my child is a perfectly healthy weight-

As she says all this, I feel like the 12 year old little girl who’s crying because her mums digging at her weight, being made to feel crappy about herself because the woman who’s supposed to love me is micromanaging everything I eat and calling me vicious names, and I’d never allow her to make any of my children feel like that, so I bolt up in rage, before shouting:

“Don’t you even dare take any food off of their plate to give to that dog! If you even try putting any mental harm on my kids, I’ll make fucking sure you never see us again!”

There’s kind of a silence between the pair of us before an argument ensues, where she claims she’s “only got my best interest at heart” and that “Brad won’t love me anymore if I continue being a fatty” and that I should have lost the baby fat and it wouldn’t have happened if I’d stayed in contact with her. She called me an asshole and a silly whale, before I left with my family, and other family members are saying that while I was right not to let her do that to my kids, I was an asshole for threatening to take her grandchildren away from her, when she’s only just got them back, and now I’m just confused and starting to consider that I may be one for emotional blackmail.