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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Kingdo7 on 2024-07-14 08:04:57+00:00.
I was at my bf’s house for a week, bf has planned a card tournament with his friends. Since I’m not interested in card games, I decided to stay in the bedroom, playing games on his computer. I could hear them talking, but I didn’t listen until I hear my name.
Basically, the friends wanted some coffee, no big deal until one of them specifically wanted me to serve them. BF told him it was a bad idea, but he shrugged him off, saying that it was natural. The friend come to the bedroom and ask me to serve them coffee and I say “sure”.
When I come to the living room, bf and all the others boys were shocked. BF ask me if I was alright, and I told him with a BIG smile, “sure”. BF started to try hiding a smile before telling his friend I shouldn’t have to serve them in his home since I’m a guest too. The others friends were awkward, but the one insisting on me serving them double down saying he was right, and it’s natural that as a woman I serve them.
The group told him he went too far, but I agree with him. The place of a woman is in the kitchen, with fire, blades, household product clearly not meant to be swallowed.
Do you wants a classic coffee or an aromatic one ? Bf has hazelnut, Irish and caramel coffee too. By the way, did you know that cyanide actually smell just like almond ? Maybe that why I never saw an almond coffee, we wouldn’t notice if there is cyanide in it. Bf birth out laughing, the friend was dumbfounded, and I just continue. (they choose a classic coffee)
Sugar with the coffee ? When I think about it, the most used weapon by women is poison. You know that product, antifreeze, apparently it cannot be detected in the autopsy, that why he was so much uses to poison people, mainly husbands by their wife. The issues were so big that now we do a test specially to see if antifreeze is in the body. (they choose no sugar)
They ask that I change the subject, so I oblige.
Did they know the movie “Black widow” ? (The English title is Lamb to the Slaughter thx biold and Rare-Bumblebee-1803) An very old movie in black and white. It’s about a wife who kill her unfaithful husband with a freezing leg of lamb with a hit on the head, just like a baseball bat. She then cooks the lamb and even gives it to eat to the police when they investigate. It’s fascinating how she uses her environment, the kitchen, to commit a crime.
Do you wants a cloud of arsenic in your coffee ? Oh, did I say arsenic ? I’m sorry I wanted to say “a cloud of milk”. Don’t worry, it’s just a little slip of the tongue because I talk about poison for a while now.
Someone ask why women uses poison that much. I just answered. That make sense, after all, some men expect women to serve them and confidently eat everything they made.
I don’t know why, but at that very moment, the friend rush to the kitchen, escort me out and say he will make his own coffee. I ask if he was sure, after all I don’t mind, I still have a lot of funny stories to share. Is it because of the mention of arsenic and cyanide ? Don’t worry, I’m sure bf doesn’t have that in his house.
BF was trying to regain his breath while laughing, he managed to say “I told you so”. I got forbidden to enter the kitchen until their friends left that day. I wonder why, I would have made these coffees, I just wanted to share my interest on investigations and crimes. ;)
EDIT : typo