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The original was posted on /r/lifeprotips by /u/VladeMercer on 2024-07-17 02:51:33+00:00.
Don’t ignore the red flags in the relationship matter even when you think you can work things out later. Relationships are always about emotions. That’s why you are ultimately vulnerable, that’s why you will fail.
Accept the idea the person you choose and gonna be with, will not change. Your empathy, honesty, open personality, CAN’T turn things around 180 degrees.
We hope that the reason should prevail. Wrong. It will make your suffering imminent. And if you think suffering is something you can handle you have never met a narcissistic person to be in love with.
The toxicity harms more than you think. A toxic person is someone who brings conflict and negativity to your life. They’re often controlling, manipulative and abusive. There are couple toxic personality disorder types. The person you meet can be not only one of them, but even couple of them at once.
The realization of how fucked up is that person’s life is not a moment, it is a process. At first you think you know what’s going on and you want to help. You try, you talk, you learn, you elevate awareness, you think you grow as person, but no long term effects… Reality is that you just can’t help at all. Only professional therapy is able to do it.
The realization is costly not just because of time lost (and i mean years) to see how deep the rabbit hole is/was. It is about how much it drains/drained your soul, energy, trust in people (and yourself), not to mention money, friends and family.
The change is possible only (and always) in the person wanting a change. Be the change, don’t expect it. Cut the toxicity (early) - save yourself, save your life.