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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawayscholarr on 2023-07-31 13:04:58.

I have this friend Sarah (19F), we are both sophomores in college. The state that we go to school in has a full ride scholarship (incl books, room and board, a MacBook, etc) that each state representative chooses a student from their district to receive. I am an out of state student so this doesn’t personally affect me. Sarah’s dad is good friends with her districts rep, and she was selected to start receiving the scholarship after the last recipient graduated this May.

This left a bad taste in my mouth for a couple reasons. Sarah’s family is very wealthy, her dad makes somewhere in the low 7 figures annually. She grew up going to an expensive private school and her family has been comfortably paying essentially her college tuition annually for the last 12 years already. She is also very religious. Although I don’t always agree with some of her beliefs, one of the points I used to really respect her for was that she claimed her faith inspired her to give back and volunteer. Her family honestly does donate a lot to charity and she volunteers more than anyone I know.

When she excitedly told me that she was selected for the scholarship she could tell I was upset and asked why I wasn’t happy for her. I told her that I thought it was kind of selfish for her to accept it, when the only reason she received it in the first place is because her rich dad knows the rep personally. The district she’s from has some of the poorest communities in our state and there’s hundreds of students where this scholarship would make or break their ability to go to college at all. Instead, her dad gets to buy another boat with all the money he saved. She kept defending herself, and how hard her dad works so I finally said “I just don’t think accepting it when you really didn’t need it and didn’t earn it on merit is very Christian”

She called me an asshole and who am I to tell her what is or isn’t Christian and left. I still don’t believe I’m an asshole but people in our circle are telling me to apologize to keep the peace.

EDIT: To answer the ppl that are asking why I know the only reason she received it was because of her dads connections. She told me that the rep reached out personally to her dad to ask if she would accept it. I’m also friends with another person in her district and they confirmed that there was no option to enter for consideration to receive the scholarship. The previous person was also the son of one of the reps friends.

Her parents are fully paying for her tuition plus an allowance for her other expenses.

EDIT 2: Didn’t think I would have to say this but bc ppl are getting really personal, we both go to a very expensive private college. My parents are middle class and the only reason I was able to go to this school is because of a very sizable merit scholarship. (Not a full ride but enough to make it cheaper than going to an in state school which was my original plan in HS)