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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Large_Dumpling on 2023-07-31 14:15:25.

My (M26) sister Jan (F23) has always been spoilt. Parents always took her side, praised her, always compared her academic success to mine. Never looked well on my hobbies, sports and gaming, because ‘there was no future’ in it. Ironically, I have a successful career as a PT, and met my loving partner through a game con.

Jan always liked to insult my intelligence, how she was smarter despite being three years younger, and always got away with petty crimes. For example, stole my high school job money, and when I told the parents, they said I should share as she’s too busy studying. It was textbook case of golden child versus black sheep.

When I became sexually active, parents blew up at me. Things about how I was a pervert, how I need reflect and behave, shaming me for having thoughts and needs. Jan chimed in about how I was a ‘man slut’, and she could say no wrong. From them on, if they ever wanted to degrade me, they would call me ‘man slut’ in Chinese.

The kicker was when I found my current partner. We were both ‘man sluts’, shameful, disgraceful, perverts of the highest calibre. Jan added fuel to the fire about how perverted we were, that we were dirty, etc.

I have moved out and no longer live with them. However, they want to maintain the appearance of a cohesive family, so I begrudgingly go to social family events with them, if only for the red money envelopes I get.

Earlier this year, a friend sends me a link, asking if this was Jan. You can imagine what link it is. And yes, when I opened it, it was her, and being extremely sexual in the preview. I closed it, disgusted, but since I cut communications with her, I just left it be.

This Sunday, big family gathering. Relatives started asking about my love life, and I usually deflect or remain silent. Jan however, started going, “Oh, he’s a manslut, he’ll never settle down.” “Good luck to anyone who can handle his stupidity.” It got to the point that even the relatives were visibly uncomfortable with her insults.

I erupted. Said, “At least I wasn’t showing off my body online.” Told the relatives around me about the link I received, including the parents. I admit that my AH move was slut-shaming her in front of everyone, but I was livid, and just stomped out of the restaurant and drove home.

Phone has blown up nonstop since. Took a call from mum, and she screamed at me, how dare I call my sister a pervert, how dare I shame her, it was all my fault. Dad is more reasonable, shocked at the news and asking how I knew. It’s huge family drama. Some relatives I’ve told about my past are sympathetic, but think I shouldn’t have publically shared.

I can’t see Jan’s reaction (she’s blocked), but I did see from a friend that she basically broke down on Instagram about being called out and blamed a ‘dumb dick’ for revealing her private life. Personally, I feel justified in airing out her dirty laundry, but my partner, while supportive, thinks I went overboard. AITA?