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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/freshblueberry22 on 2023-07-31 16:20:45.

I (m40) started dating my wife 9 years ago. My wife came with a 6-year-old daughter Jay now 15. My wife and I also have twin boys together I make the majority of the money while my wife works part-time at the boy’s school.

Jay has never liked me, I think it is because my relationship with her mom confirmed her mom and dad aren’t going to get back together. Meanwhile, I’m always there for Jay, at her soccer games, help her with homework, and drive her places considering I’m the “breadwinner” who pays for most of Jay’s things which is completely fine I love Jay.

Her bio Dad is an absolute POS full of broken promises always letting Jay down. He’s selfish and prioritizes himself over his kid. Jay still adores him though and wants him In her life. Because of that if Jay usually tells me I’m not her dad and takes it out on me verbally if her dad’s being his usual POS self which hurts honestly.

2 weeks ago was Jay’s bday and her dad promised he would come to her party but didn’t show up later after the party Jay got a text from him saying sorry he got caught up with things but will make it up to her. Jay and I were the only ones up so when she started sobbing I heard. I instantly started trying to comfort her. After a few minutes, Jay freaked out telling me to leave me alone. As I was leaving to give her her space she said “god you’re not even my real dad anyway stop trying to act like it (first name)”. I understand I’m not her bio dad but constantly getting verbally abused just because I’m not her bio dad even though I’ve always been there for her is exhausting.

We didn’t talk unless needed until yesterday. Jay asked for money so she could go get lunch and go shopping with a few friends. After how she treated me I decided to say why don’t you ask your real dad for money because you constantly remind me I’m not him. She started crying and ran to her room. My wife said I was harsh because I know how shitty her bio dad is but she understands because of how Jay treats me. I also told a few friends and they all called me AH. So am I… I feel like it needed to be said for Jay to finally realize how much I do for her even if I’m not her “real dad”.