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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/couture44466 on 2023-07-31 14:41:10.


I 24F have a father who’s 75 years old, 100% disabled and is a Retired Vietnam War Veteran. My mother and him are still together. He has a variety of mental/health issues and he takes 15 pills everyday for all of them. I feel he’s being financially exploited. My father has lost a significant amount of weight and is now on crutches, and my mother chose to hide it from me. She even makes comments like, “oh, when your dad dies. & “she’s putting her life on hold for him.” She keeps trying to get a new car however she doesn’t work, and has not worked in over 10 years (she refuses to, she is an able body) and her and my father have been living off his SSI/Retirement. Due to my mother not working while I was coming up, it caused a shortage in household funds. He started withdrawing money out of his life insurance policy. He was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. After the diagnosis, it took her well over a month to get him scheduled to see a cancer specialist. There was no sense of urgency at all. Once, he got to the doctor - we got word back that cancer has now spread to his ribs and his lungs. My father has even told me, he feels like a burden and if she feeds him it’s the bare minimum. She gets so annoyed with him, and she’s always in his finances. Also, he may be entitled to some sort of backpay due to him going to war twice around $30k ish. Now, he said he wasn’t worried about the money. However, my mother took him up to the Veterans Administration for them to complete the compensation hearing. Her response was, “He didn’t have a choice, he had to do the hearing.” IMO she’s pushing him to his grave, just so that she can collect. I know when APS comes to the house to investigate, it’s going to open a can of worms. I live 4 hours away and I feel like I had to do something to protect him. AITA?