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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nobreaks0 on 2023-07-31 16:41:01.

I 35f have 2 children (5m and 3f) and a baby who is only 16 weeks old. My first 2 pregnancies have gone quite smoothly, with a few bumps on the way but not much problems. My third pregnancy was really tough as I got diagnosed with preeclampsia, put to bedrest for 6 weeks, and had an emergency C-section during which both me and the baby almost died. I stayed in the hospital for longer than 2 weeks before I was deemed healthy enough to be released. My husband has been beside me in the delivery room all 3 times and does most of the chores and takes care of the kids while I recover and makes sure I have everything I need.We have saved more than enough money from both our jobs to have the ability to afford to stay at home for as long as is needed. My best friend (we’ll call her Ashley) has been my bff since elementary school. We’ve never missed each others birthdays no matter what was going on in our lives or how far apart we were. She also was aware of my troubles. Yesterday was her birthday. In the morning I was feeling below par and I was too tired to get out of bed so my husband took care of all the kids and helped me shower like he did a 100x before during my pregnancies and postpartum. When it was around 2 pm, I was feeling a little better but I was still worn-out so I called Ashley. Her birthday party was scheduled at 3pm and I was supposed to arrive at 2:30 pm. I waited until 2pm because I knew how important her birthday is and I was hoping that I would feel good enough to come over. I told her that “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to come to your birthday party because I’m not feeling well.” She asked what was wrong, and I told her that I was extremely exhausted and there was no way I can be at her party. I literally heard her sigh angrily and she said “But what about our promise? I broke my arm while racing and still traveled a 1000 miles for your birthday, but you can’t drive 20 miles to see me? If your fat ass can reach the grocery store, then you would come here if you actually cared”. That’s when I became mad and told her "Well if you had kids then you would understand " and that’s when she said “F*ck you” and hung up. (That wasn’t the entire conversation). You might think “what’s so bad about saying if you had kids?”. Ashley can’t get pregnant due to an incident that happened during our younger college days and the topic is very sensitive for her, so me saying that was extremely vile. This morning, I woke up feeling much better and I attempted to contact Ashley so I could apologize but she wouldn’t pick up and ignored all my text messages. My husband said that I shouldn’t apologize because if she was a real friend she would have shown concern and worry instead of anger and the attitude of a brat so she deserved my comeback, but I feel so guilty for bringing up her inability to have kids and I feel like such an asshole for doing so. AITA?