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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MessageFun244 on 2023-07-31 16:52:28.

AITA… A short background… My ex husband and I have been divorced for 11 years. We have a 14 year old daughter that I have full physical custody but joint legal. My daughter goes to her dads every other weekend for 32 hours, when we got divorced he agreed to 3 hours every Tuesday and 4 hours every Saturday, this is in our court/divorce papers. He fought harder on child support payment which should have been $530 a month than visitation with his daughter.

Side note, he is behind on child support which is over $8,500, his child support payment was lowered to $345 a month plus 45% of out of pocket medical expenses which he still owes over $3,000 (braces, eye glasses etc).

My ex and I are cordial. All three of us would go out , watch movies, he would come over my place, hang out, cook, BBQ together etc…

On a weekend that my daughter was with him I asked my daughter and him if they have nothing to do and if they can help packing and moving stuff that would be greatly appreciated. I was packing, cleaning and moving stuff by myself and could really use some help.

Well when my ex husband started to take down MY bedroom set, I told him I am giving my bedroom set to my friend. He asked why I didn’t give him the bedroom set so my daughter can use it at his apartment.

Note he has been living in that apartment for over 4 years, he only has a bed for my daughter. She does NOT have clothes, shoes, desk, dresser, etc at his place. Let’s just say he probably bought like 10 pairs of shoes, clothes for birthday and Christmas present, pretty much he doesn’t provide clothes unless it’s on a special occasion.

He said he feels bad that my daughter doesn’t have a dresser in her room at his place and he said I should have thought of giving him my bedroom set, which includes king size mattress, bedframe, dressers, chest and mirror so that my daughter could use it at his place, instead of giving it to my friend.

My thought was that it is his responsibility to provide those things for our daughter in HIS apartment and that it is NOT my responsibility to buy a dresser for my daughter at his place. So we proceed to argue and he got really pissed off and he told me he was going to sue me and bring me to court… etc.

He made me feel that I was inconsiderate and selfish since I didn’t think of giving him my bedroom set so my daughter could use it at his place. AITA for not giving him my bedroom set so my daughter could use it at his place?

Update/clarification: When we started arguing he brought up taxes. The suing part that my ex is threatening to sue me for is because he wanted to file my daughter as dependent for taxes. My daughter lives with me full time and I have full physical custody. Location Midwest, USA

Ex husbands current situation. He works full time construction and painting, he does not have any other child support, no alimony, have 2 bedroom apartment, goes on vacation every year, will be going on vacation for 1 month in Mexico.

Update: The county child support services has been trying to locate his job for the last 7 years, they are unable to locate his job since he is getting paid under the table…

Hiring private investigators and lawyers is expensive, I don’t have the money to do this AGAIN! $7,000 for lawyer and $145 per hour for a private investigator. Already spent $10,000 total which could have went to my daughter!!!.