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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CalendarDad on 2023-08-01 06:32:13.

Repost, apparently I didn’t respond to the judgement bot in time.

So my (M45) son Cole is a freshman college athlete, getting a jump on training.

Apparently there is a British college rowing team that puts out a “beefcake” nude calendar of their team as a fundraiser. Apparently it has become quite a thing, relatively famous.

I guess the boys got together and decided to do the same thing. High-quality printing and absolutely A+ photography, and came up with a really slick product. It is selling well on campus and at this point it’s going to be on pretty much every girl’s dorm wall (and some guys’ walls as well LOL). They’ve made decent money – to help fund the team but MOST donated to a children’s cancer charity, pretty amazing.

We didn’t know anything about this until Cole came home and proudly presented us with a copy (his month is May). It did not go well. His mother almost had an stroke. Wailing. Hyperventilating. Weeping. Apparently she is too “mortified for words” to comprehend that a bunch of college girls are going to have a picture of “her baby” in the buff on their walls for one month. And “What will her friends think?”

I think it’s ridiculous. A calendar of naked guys is nothing to get worked up over. They’re all technically adults, and I’m proud of the boys’ ingenuity and confidence. I’m sure it took some balls to do that (figuratively, not only literally). And to give the money to charity… amazing. I told my wife that she should lighten up, that if I looked as good as he did at that age and had been as handsome and tan and fit I would have done it too.

The calendar is NOT X-rated, and NOT porn. Ok it’s pretty damn racy and definitely pushing the limits, but no one’s “business” is really exposed thanks to judicious poses and props and such although they are definitely pushing that “exposure” to the absolute max. I have to admit if anything was shifted the tiniest bit you’d be able to tell the boys’ religion, so to speak, but they kept it all legal enough…and they obviously WANT it to sell. Fine. Who cares.

His mom though is insisting that I “do something about it.” What am I supposed to do? What’s done is done. “Stop them!” You can’t stop what has already finished. “Get them back!” Seriously? You know that’s impossible, right? “Punish him!” For what? How?

Cue more hysterics. And now she’s not even speaking with me for not supporting her, and “ashamed to show her face” to her friends who I’m sure couldn’t care less about some college boys’ pictures from 600 miles away. And for what it’s worth Cole’s girlfriend is totally on board with it. My wife called me an asshole (but not in those words) but not taking her side.

So AITA. Perhaps I am the asshole for not seeing things from my wife’s point of view and not sympathizing with her.

But I don’t think I am.

JUDGEMENT FAX I might be the asshole because (1) I didn’t take into account my wife’s distress and was dismissive of her and (2) as a good husband I should be more attuned to her feelings.