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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/New_Tennis_1349 on 2023-08-01 13:38:01.

I (24f) am currently staying with my dad at his summer house. My dad’s wife Monica is also here. To be clear, neither Monica nor I have jobs.

Monica has always had an issue with my unemployment. According to my dad she thinks it shouldn’t be the case and that my dad should pressure me to get a job, which he has declined to do. She has made the odd thinly veiled comment about it which I’ve ignored.

Being all that as it is, two days ago I was out by the pool and Monica came over to sit with me, which was pretty odd. She asked what I planned on doing for the rest of the summer and I said I was having several friends come and visit after she goes home. She asked how we all had so much free time and turned the conversation back to “work”. I was calmly dodging her barbed comments, and told her if my dad doesn’t care about my having a job, she shouldn’t either. Monica then said even if he wasn’t pushing, he would be “proud of me earning my own money” which frankly, set me off. I turned to her and said, “do you think my dad would be proud of me ‘earning’ money the way you do?”. She got very flustered and went inside.

Apparently she went to my dad in tears and told him what I said. My dad was initially on my side and said she should mind her own business, but she’s still upset and not really speaking to anyone. My dad says I should now apologise because she’s learnt her lesson and won’t try it again but it’s time to make peace because she feels uncomfortable. I think she effed around and found out, and that she’s dragging this out. If I don’t need an apology for her inappropriate behaviour, I don’t see why she needs one for my reaction. Am I being an AH by not apologising?