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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/D0NotDisturbMe on 2023-08-01 16:44:18.

I’ve (37M) been friends with Lucy (38F) for about 30 years.

Lucy always calls me when she has a problem, as we’ve been friends for so long and I’ve always been there for her. This can be something as small as editing her resume or something as big as needing a loan to make rent. Unfortunately Lucy only has one mode, emergency.

So whether it’s a crisis or a simple problem, she always approaches it in emergency mode.

The other day, I was in the middle of taking a timed assessment for work on my phone. I was about 5 minutes into it when Lucy called me. As I was in the middle of the assessment, I declined the call and put her into voicemail.

As soon as I did this, she called back. I once again declined and put her into voicemail. She called back a third time and I did the same. Keeping in mind, every time she did this, it interrupted my assessment, the clock kept running, and the screen filled with her phone call taking away the question.

She texted me, which popped up on the screen, “911 call me.”

I responded, “Busy, call you in 20.”

She replied, “Please, it’s an emergency!”

I closed the text, and continued my assessment. She then started calling again. I put 5 calls in a row into voicemail.

I was behind on my assessment so I tried to power through, but stress was getting to me.

Lucy texted me again, “Need you now!”

I lost it and texted back, “FUCK OFF!!!”

In 30 years neither of us has ever said that to each other but in that moment I just wanted her to leave me alone.

She didn’t respond but stopped calling me. When I finished my assessment, I called her back and she threw me into voicemail. I texted her and said was done and could talk.

She replied, “It’s fine, I took care of it.”

I later learned that her car had broken down and she needed a ride to work so she wouldn’t miss her shift. She wound up calling her father, she was late for work, and got a written warning. She’s been very cold to me and I feel very badly that I hurt her. I’ve apologized for cursing at her and she just says, “It’s fine,” without any further comment. I’m beginning to doubt if my reaction was justified and feel horrible for damaging our friendship. Am I the asshole for how I reacted and not helping my friend when she was in need?