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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/gerbilhamster364 on 2023-08-02 03:33:10.

Hi guys! Me (28M) and my wife (25F) have been going back and forth on this for a few months now and I am starting to wonder if I am in fact the asshole. So basically, I work in a very high stress career environment where my schedule changes by the week and I often have to wake often around 5 AM. Because of this I like to go to sleep around 8:45 PM. Unfortunately, I just cannot get to sleep if my wife is not in bed with me. My wife on the other hand is a semi night owl and hates going to sleep before 10:30. She has been accommodating my sleep habits over the course of our marriage but I can tell she isn’t exactly hyped about it. When I brought it up to her she said that she has a career too and thinks it’s a little over the top that she should just sit in bed on her phone for hours until she gets tired. For context, I can’t get to sleep with any lights on either so she can’t read a book/study in bed but I can sleep fine with just her phone light. At this point, Im not sure what to do because we don’t have a big enough house to sleep in separate rooms so effectively, one of us is gonna have to lie awake for hours. It’s been starting arguments because my wife gets home from work around 6:15-6:30, so she says she feels like she doesn’t have a life on the weekdays because she has to get in bed 2 hours later. I don’t think it’s too big of an ask that she comes to bed so I can get a full night of sleep every night, but does this make me the asshole? Thanks in advance!