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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowAITA84585468 on 2023-08-02 17:51:21.

We have been dating for about 2 and a half years. At the beginning, we lived in separate homes, but recently I (26F) moved in with him (29M).

He works in investment banking, and his hours are longer than usual (around 12-13 hours a day), AND I work at a normal job (8 hours a day). However, this doesn’t mean that I owe him something. I’m not forcing him to work in investment banking. He could easily get a normal job at a normal company because of his experience, but he chooses not to. He could work 8 hours a day, and we can do the cleaning and cooking together, but he won’t do it! Instead, he works longer hours and expects me to cook something for him.

A couple of days ago, we got into an argument again because I didn’t cook and told him to order something. He got mad and exactly said, ‘You work 8 hours a day, come home, sit on your phone or watch Netflix until you sleep. You’re lazy and selfish.’ This made me really furrious because I’m not lazy, I just feel tired after work and don’t want to do anything when he can easily order food or cook for himself if he wants homemade food. No one is forcing him to work those long hours, so I don’t see myself as being selfish or lazy to be honest.

Was I being an asshole by saying something that might come across as rude, like ‘order something’? Did I deserve to be called lazy and selfish for not cooking for him?

AITA?