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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Adeptness_7325 on 2023-08-03 10:27:18.

History context: 6 years ago when my sister (we will call her Julie) was getting married and I was her MOH and she was a massive bridezilla. She refused to have anyone bring kids to her wedding as she didn’t want “little brats” ruining her big day. She made a big deal about this during her wedding process. She had 8 bridesmaids and I had to manage all of them (only 3 of them are still in contact with her). I wasn’t allowed to change my hairstyle, gain any weight in fact I was encouraged to lose weight (I have always been on the thinner side than is recommended for my height as I grew up with eating issues from being body shamed my whole life). I had to organise and pay for a bridal shower, kitchen tea and hens weekend because she demanded all three events but refused to pay for anything because “apparently that’s not what a brides supposed to do”. The list could go on. Her wedding day was icing on the cake but I kept the peace like I was told and did everything that was asked of me.

Current problem! I (26 f) am excited to be planning my own wedding with my fiancé (28 m). I have to have Julie as my MOH otherwise I will cause WWIII, even though I don’t really want her as my MOH, I’ll keep the peace and agree. My fiancé and I have both made the decision no kids to our wedding and to every couple we have spoken to about this they are thrilled for a parents night off. Julie has her rainbow baby boy (Charlie) and has been giving me hell because I have told her no children are coming to wedding. She assumed that didn’t include Charlie but I have repeatedly told her to respect our decision and the boundary we have set. This argument comes up weekly even though my fiancé and I have sat down with her and her husband to discuss this. My parents don’t understand why I’m being difficult about this issue and should just let her have her way. Julie has always been the golden child and been spoilt growing up. My dad says I need to stop being difficult and I’m really hurt and disappointed but not surprised that my family isn’t respecting my decisions as they haven’t respected me my whole life. Here is where I maybe the asshole and a bit of a bridezilla. Julie has made it clear that she won’t be able to focus on anything if Charlie isn’t at the wedding. But I know if he is there she will have her whole attention on him and I refuse to have my day stalled and delayed in half hour increments because she has to feed him or give him extra TLC. A wedding in my opinion does not resolve around a 13month old! I told her that I understand her priorities have changed now that she is a parent. But if Charlie comes to the wedding she doesn’t get to be a bridesmaid. She’s throwing a tantrum and her, my brother in law and my parents think I’m the asshole. My fiancé is standing by my decision but am I being a bridezilla by not wanting to have to stress about a toddler running around and worrying about where my MOH is all day because she keeps disappearing?

AITA?