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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Vast_Influence5545 on 2023-08-04 00:25:00.

So I (23F) have been with my husband (24F) for a year and a half. He has a three year old son with his ex (34F). They have an extremely messy relationship. He cheated on her while she was pregnant and in retaliation she has made it really hard for him to have a relationship with their son. He wasn’t called when she was giving birth so he’s not on the BC. We live two hours away so she doesn’t allow him to come see us since she doesn’t like that he would be in the same house as me but when my husband makes the drive in there, he’s only allowed to see him for an hour or two.

I’ve been with my husband for half of his sons life and I’ve witnessed the way she keeps him away from him. She refuses to let him go two hours away, so she tells me boyfriend he needs to move to her city even though he was in fulltime school…

We have been trying for a child since the beginning of this year. After no luck I started freaking out that I was infertile. I made an appointment to go get checked by a fertility doctor who told me that I was in perfect condition fertility wise and shouldn’t have any issues conceiving. When I told my husband he was weirded out considering this implies he is the one with fertility issues so he went to the doctor too.

There he found out that he has an extremely low sperm count. When he told the doctor he has a son they said that it is a miracle that he was conceived without any help. After finding out, my husband has fertility issues they really had me second-guessing, whether or not he was even his sons biological father.

I brought it up to him that he should consider getting a paternity test done. He was conflicted for a while because he loves his son but ultimately with the news of his fertility he ended up reaching out his baby mama and requesting a paternity test. This sent her over the edge and she went on and on about he barely even sees his son and is a deadbeat and he backed out of it.

This really pissed me off so I told him that he needed to get a DNA test done before we have a child so we went through the courts in June and requested one. The results came back and he’s not the father. This was a huge relief to me but my husband was distraught. All of us sudden his “BM”wants to be civil and “coparent”.

He told me he still wanted to be in his sons life and I told him there’s no point if the mother was making it hard on him back when he believed he was the father. Now shes just using him. I convinced him that it’s just best to move on with his life and that the situation is full of unnecessary drama, and he agreed ultimately. I told my sisters about it and they all agreed, except for one who called me an asshole saying that I just took away a little boys chance to have a dad and that i’m selfish since I pushed him to take the test and convinced him it’s better to not be involved.