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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TidalRose on 2024-09-09 20:26:57+00:00.

So on Friday I got a new bicycle. I was super excited for it to come into the shop, and when I finally got it I was ecstatic. It’s a beautiful cruiser that’s honestly too embarrassing of a color to steal IMO. I love it.

Now, I haven’t ridden a bike in at least a full year up to this point. While my sister and I took a ride around town on Saturday so I could get used to the bike, I hadn’t tried to do anything as insane as, say, try to bike a mile and a half in under ten minutes. Also, I should probably mention now that I have asthma, which in my case gets more severe when I do strenuous exercise.

I work at a place roughly a mile and a half from my house. It’s a straight line, sidewalks aren’t great but they’re still pretty well paved. My shift started at 4, and by the time I got my bike out of the driveway, it was around 3:50.

I needed to hurry.

So I, in my infinite wisdom, turned on “It’s Pizza Time!” On my phone at full blast, put it in my basket, and didn’t stop pedaling as hard as I could until I got to the building’s door. I barely made it into the building on time.

I could barely get off my bike, my upper legs hurt so bad. I could barely breathe despite taking my inhaler before leaving. My throat felt like it was on fire, and even as I’m writing this I feel like I could pass out.

It’s now twenty minutes into my shift and I’m typing this instead of working. Thank god I’m a janitor because otherwise I’d probably get in trouble. I’m still struggling to even stand up, I had to take my inhaler again but I’m still having a lot of trouble breathing, and I’m genuinely worried I may need to go to the hospital if my airways don’t open up more soon. Taking deep breaths is possible, but it hurts my throat. Fuck.

TL;DR: Severely overestimated my own athletic abilities when riding my bike to work for the first time and might have given myself an asthma attack.