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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Butyourwebsitesaid on 2023-08-04 06:29:17.

My husband and I are currently separated due to an affair he had back in May. He decided to move 1.5 hours away to the location where his mistress lives, but promised he would co-parent with me and that he would never abandon his kids.

At first, he would come and stay with the kids (F3 and M1) for a few hours every few days and FaceTime with my daughter in between (He would call close to bedtime so our son was already asleep). The visits and FaceTimes got further apart and he currently hasn’t visited since July 9th, has only FaceTimed 3 times with daughter and hasn’t asked about his son at all. He hasn’t even texted to ask how they are and he doesn’t seem interested when I text him pictures beyond a heart reaction. He hasn’t contributed anything financially either, but I don’t want his money.

My children love their dad and I’m not trying to punish him but I am at the end of my rope with this behavior. It’s been more than a week since he called last. My daughter started bawling tonight begging to talk to her dad so I texted him to ask if he could call. He told me he just got to a 4 day music festival and couldn’t talk and won’t be able to until Monday. I didn’t tell her why he couldn’t talk, I just said “I’m sorry baby, daddy is busy”. Her response was “He doesn’t love me anymore”. She’s 3.

So, WIBTA if I told my husband to commit to seeing/talking to them regularly or to just stay absent? I want nothing more than for my kids to have a relationship with their dad but he clearly hasn’t made them a priority. I don’t want to be a “bitter baby mamma” or a “jaded ex-wife” but I want to advocate for the relationship they deserve.

(Edit: I see all the posts about child support but there’s too many to reply too. I wasn’t meaning to be prideful or a doormat on not asking for support, I make 3x more money than he does and I can support the kids and myself just fine. I hadn’t considered putting this money away for them, but it is definitely something I will look into now. Thanks for the new perspective on the issue.)