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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TriangleAsInfinity on 2023-08-04 14:39:47.

My friend “Olivia” (25F) has been living at the home of my partner (30M) and I (26F) for about a week as she has had some financial problems and was evicted from her own home. That’s fine, she cleans up after herself, she’s respectful of house rules, etc.

Anyway, she pulled me aside a couple days ago and asked me if I’m really dating my partner, or if we’re just pretending. I asked her what put that in her head and she said that he and I never do couple-y things like kissing or PDA or etc. She also brought up the fact that we don’t share a bedroom and asked if everything was okay in our sex life.

I am asexual, and so is my partner. My friend is not aware of this as I have not come out to anyone about this, but still… it’s a weird question to ask, is it not? Also it’s ludicrous to me that she went to the conclusion of my partner and I being in a fake relationship.

I said everything was fine and it’s really none of her business. She dropped it but then yesterday she brought it up again, saying she was concerned because I seemed quite defensive and snappy when she brought up my sex life in the prior conversation. I’m not always aware of my tone of voice, I have alexithymia and autism so I’m not very good at reading/recognising emotions in myself, so I could well have come across as defensive without realising but I don’t know.

She then went on, saying she wanted to continue the conversation and asking if I was “waiting till marriage?” And whether or not my religion was forcing that (I am Jewish) as she noticed I didn’t seem happy about discussing it with her the last time she tried to so it might be a difficult topic for me.

I said that she was correct I didn’t want to talk about it with her because, again, it’s none of her business, so I would appreciate it if she stopped trying to. I also explained that I’m not an Orthodox Jew so pre-marital sex isn’t really a problem, at least within the community of Jews I live in.

She told me I was being rude when she was just looking out for me and the least I could do was appreciate her support. She has been a victim of Christian purity culture, so I understand she was trying to help or to make sure I was okay, but I don’t appreciate her still trying to talk to me about it after I told her I didn’t want to.

AITA?