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The original was posted on /r/drugscirclejerk by /u/Tinker5587 on 2024-09-17 07:07:14+00:00.

A faint aroma of fentajenk permeates the air as the morning dew drips down your window. As you roll over on your mattress, dust from your crusted cum cave clings to the air, casting a weak shadow on your tired skin.

You reach to your bedside, clasping your pre-prepared enema tube between your fingers. You notice you are wearing a glove. You don’t remember putting one on. Looking closer, you can see the glove is covered in little holes, and hairs. “How peculiar!” you think - and begin pulling it all off, kicking last night’s krokodil to the side as you do it. You discard the gloves, leaving healthy muscle and bone covered crimson red juices. A voice echoes in your mind “Squawk”. You freeze, the red juices flow faster. Your pulse quickens. You have Pavlovian conditioned yourself into getting horny when you are scared, but you try to ignore your now throbbing prostate. “Squawk” - there it is again! You call out - “h-hello, who is there?” you whisper, your soundwaves vibrating like bubbles in a bong. A voice echoes back.

“Squark squawk, harm reduction! Squawk, make sure to eat! Squawk squawk”

Could it be that your eagle has been unslain?

What was a fear is now a pounding in your neck. Panicked, you insert the enema tube. You don’t actually get high from it anymore, but you enjoy how it feels, and you take comfort knowing it’s the best ROA. You make sure to really move the enema tube around to get all the substance nicely distributed inside you. A warm smile and a sigh of relief wash over you, yet you have not washed in days.

An eagle flies past your window. “The eagle… has landed” - you smirk, certain that this is a message from God telling you that your eagle has been slain.

You realise that you just stared at the wall for 0.28 seconds - your severe executive dysfunction is incapacitating you. You need your medicine NOW. Reaching into your drawer, you pull out your morning dose - 2 x 40mg amphetamine. You swallow it with a glass of amniotic fluid and decide to sit there and do nothing for an hour until it kicks in.

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” you whisper, launching from the bed like a V-2 rocket. Finally, you feel normal. It’s like a light bulb being turned on. You reach for your daily roulette - a Pez dispenser filled with 99 of the latest RCs, and a single vitamin C tablet.

Immediately**, you take a more serious tone**. You know that if you get the vitamin C tablet, that will reduce your Focus because of how it interacts with your Medicine. You really want to Focus. You pray as you shake the pills and one falls out of the container. You look down. It’s vitamin C… You wake up.

Namaste 🙏