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The original was posted on /r/highstrangeness by /u/HollywoodGreats on 2024-09-18 01:23:03+00:00.

1989 my very best friend in the world died of AIDS. A few months later my wife died of cancer. I had taken care of them both at home along with two boys aged 7 and 9 years old. I worked 3 days a week as an RN, the days off caring for my family. Soon I was a single dad with two boys to raise. 3 months after their mother died they were playing in the front yard when I heard a crash. An intoxicated man drove up on the lawn, ran over my sons and the rear tires were stopped on their bodies. He then got out of the car, unzipped and relieved himself in the yard casually looking around.

My world froze. I had nothing left. My ears were ringing and it was like my vision was in a small space in the back of my skull. I had wonderful neighbors that came and took over. I’m a nurse and could do nothing, there was blood all over the yard.

The neighbors and in-laws made the arrangements. I took off work which ended up for a year. I just sat in the house, ordered pizza and had friends over to bring food. Looking out the window at people walking their dogs, driving by, walking, having a life, I was amazed the world still went on because my world stopped. It just didn’t make sense life was still going on outside of my house. I had cans of paint and ended up painting over all of the windows, blocking out the light. I couldn’t see the sun, stars, moon, streets, people walking by, nothing but darkness and I sat in the house for a year. My friends owuld visit and never once tried to get me to ‘get over it.’ They just loved and supported me, bring me food and whatever I needed.

One day, about 9am i was watching TV in the dark, couldn’t tell if it was day or night due to the glass painted over. In the corner of the living room was a few white sparks, twinkling like diamonds. Soon there were more then a bar of them about a foot tall and maybe 3 or 4 feet wide. Thousands of sparkling diamonds. I thought “oh great, an electrical fire.” Quickly before I could get off the sofa i heard two loud voices coming from the direction of the sparkling lights. Two young business men types, educated, eloquent speaking voices start one at a time berating me. “YOU, you, you. We have such important work to do here, so many are relying on what we do, but we can’t do anything because you are holding us back.” Our work is valuable, we have to get it done but you holding on to us is stopping what we need to do." They took turns, young gentlemen’s voices, different from the other but like young exucitives, well educated shouting at me. I just knew it was my sons, but they died as children a year prior and now sounded like adults. Taking turns they kept after me, “We need to move on and do our work and you need to let go NOW. We won’t put up with this any more, stop holding on, let go now.”

I was crying and speaking to the sparkles and told them I loved them and was so sorry I couldn’t protect them from the drunk driver. I told them how much I missed them and how much guilt I had for them dying. That didn’t move them, the started again shouting at me to let them move forward. I stopped, and told them I was sorry, that I missed them so much and wanted to be with them but I would allow them their freedom they wanted and needed. I told them how relived they were ok. One of them said, “we appreciate what you did for us, but this is now and you simply have to let go of us.” That was the nicest thing they said over a few minutes of being told off. The voices stopped, the sparkling dimmed and disappeared and again I was in the dark living room with the TV on alone.

I sat for a bit then took a shower, put on clean clothing and called the hospital where I worked. My old supervisor was no longer there but so many at the hospital knew me. I got a job interview in a few hours. I needed someone to jump my car as I’ve not driven or been out of the house in a year. I started work the next day. Soon an AIDS inpatient unit was opening and I took the job there, to honor my best friend and provide end of life care for others that were facing their demise. That started 17 years as an inpatient Hospice Nurse including 5 years Inpatient Pediatric Hospice. I couldn’t spare my children, my wife or my friend but I could provide loving support for others and their families.

Over the months it took ages to scrape the paint off the windows. I thought I could block out the light but learned it’s impossible. I could shut my eyes to it, turn my back to it, paint over it but the Light still shines wether I participated in it or not. It’s always there, the Light, shining on us, warming us, showing the way but it’s up to us to recognize it and be willing to participate in It’s love. It’s so simple, just remove what blocks you from the Light. Paint, hurt, shame, guilt, anger, fear. Whatever any of us have painted over our windows to separate us from that Divine Light can be removed so easily. The benefits are worth any effort.

I did an interview about this, my boys, the darkness then the Light, here is the link: Share it with anyone you think might need it. ©David Parker, Phoenix, Az If you have a podcast please do not print, read or tell my story, it’s MY story, invite me and I’ll tell it myself.