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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Outrageous_Glove2755 on 2023-08-04 18:44:05.


My dad cheated on mom for years. During his affair he let me down many times too. He’d plan stuff with me and if his affair partner was in town or available, he’d drop me without a word. So when the truth came out I was pissed as hell with him. My younger sister was more forgiving and continued to have a relationship with him. The affair was revealed because she was pregnant. She lost that baby. They ended up getting married and 2 years ago had a child together who I never met. A few months ago they both died in a car crash that claimed five people’s lives. A social worker contacted me and my sister to see if one of us would take her in. We were left until last because they wanted older bio relatives first, but none of them wanted her. My sister asked if we could raise her together. I said I was not getting involved and told the social worker I would not raise her. My sister, who is only 19, stepped up. There were some things that needed to happen first. She dropped out of her college classes (she was working during the day and going to college at night) and she needed to move into a two bedroom place instead of the one bedroom she was in. She also needed to get some background check done.

But she passed, she has the child. Now she’s having a hard time with child care. She knew I wouldn’t say yes so she asked our mom. Begged our mom. She told mom if she loves her, she’ll help her and she’ll start opening her heart up to her little sister who is part of her girls even if she hates our dad still. My sister laid on a guilt trip to her. Mom said she needed to think. So she called me, told me she didn’t want to do it, that she HATES the thought of having that child in her home and caring for her. But she knows it will ruin her relationship with my sister if she doesn’t. I told her she shouldn’t do it. That she would not be a good fit for one, but she would also be miserable and while my sister might not hate her, she could end up resenting them both. She agreed with me and told my sister she would not watch her.

My sister called and asked if I had anything to do with it. I played dumb and said I didn’t know what she meant. She said she knew that was a lie because mom was so close to doing the right thing and suddenly she’s firmly no. She called me a cunt, a bitch, said I was heartless, that one day she’ll tell “our little sister” everything and will make me face up to my rejection of her and my lack of care for her. I told her I owe the child nothing and I would not apologize for telling mom to do what she wants. My sister then said I was cold hearted and cruel and I don’t seem to care about her either. I told her I cannot pretend to give a fuck about the child dad created with his affair partner and that she would rather me stay away. She said it didn’t mean I needed to push mom to refuse to help her either. That I was still an ass for that.

AITA?