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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TabbySibbxy on 2023-08-04 20:20:02.

My older sister is actually married already (married at 18). But she’s having her very first “wedding” since they had a courthouse wedding the first time because her husband was deploying. It’s 10 years later and my sister and her husband decided they’d have a wedding vow renewal/second wedding. It’s a destination wedding, at a very fancy, luxury hotel for millionaires. To get to the venue they require you to hire certain transport because of security reasons. The people attending would be paying close to 40k each and that’s assuming you take a flight home the next day. When I saw the price list my husband and I almost fainted. She wanted my kids (4 and 6 months) to be her little page boys. She wanted me to be her bridesmaid and sent me the link to this designer bridesmaid dress that is $$$$. As the family and “bridesmaid” (I never agreed to BE her bridesmaid, she just ran with it) we would need to fly out with her and her husband 3 days before, do some pre-wedding activities, etc. It was going to cost us over 600k for everything and once we realized that my husband and I were literally speechless. Kids also don’t get a discount, did I mention that? And you actually have to pay extra for kids my age to get suitable beds.

I have no idea where the money is coming from but this whole things is crazy.

I told my sister it was all too expensive. She offered me 2k in assistance and said she could excuse us being a day later than the rest of the family!!!

I told my sister it was waaaaay too crazy for us, waaaay too much money and we would not be going. I also told her that I had never agreed to be her bridesmaid and she needed to accept my no.

She freaked out and said I was rude and I wasn’t even trying to be there for her special day and it makes me such an asshole. She said the least I could do is attend since she’ll never have kids and she has to watch me be a mom.

AITA for what I said to her? Should I have just said we couldn’t afford it? Or am I crazy for thinking this is crazy??

So far my parents are trying to not go into heart failure. Our grandmother said she plans to be “happily dead” then and she’ll be there in spirit. I don’t think anyone on our side is reasonably going to be there…