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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/goodnewseveryone511 on 2023-08-04 19:46:49.

My (f28) best friend was supposed to get married back in April. There was a fire at the venue, so they had to postpone the wedding.

I have a 3 year old daughter “Annie”. The original wedding date fell on one of my ex’s days with her, but the new date fell on one of my days.

Before they reset the date, he told me he’d still have her if it fell on one of my days, but to let him know as soon as I knew so he could make sure he booked it off. We work at the same place on opposite shifts, so if I’m off he’s at work and vice versa, when we split up we worked our custody arrangements around this.

We didn’t know about the rescheduled date until a month ago. It was Wednesday just gone, ex was scheduled to work, and due to the short notice he wasn’t able to book off as too many other people were off. No one in our family was free to look after her, none of his friends were free, and most of mine were attending the wedding themselves. I even tried the parents of her friends, no luck.

I asked my friend if I could bring Annie to the wedding and my mum would be able to pick her up at 3 o’clock after she finished work. She said no because it was supposed to be child free. I told her the situation and that I would only be able to go to the reception then, I was supposed to be a bridesmaid, so she wasn’t happy about this. She told me to get a babysitter, but no one was free, and I didn’t want to leaver her with a stranger.

I apologised and said I wouldn’t be able to attend the ceremony, but I could go to the Reception. She got upset and told me not to bother, and didn’t talk to me for days…so I didn’t bother.

Yesterday, I got an angry text from her mum, demanding to know why I hadn’t turned up to the reception like I said I would, I told her what my friend had told me and she made excuses that she’d been stressed with wedding preparations and I shouldn’t have taken it seriously.

I regret that I missed out on the wedding, and wish I had just gone now, I was just worried she would get upset at me if I did…I don’t know, do you think I’m TA?