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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PlentyKaleidoscope45 on 2023-08-05 06:47:09.

I F(32) and my husband(40) we’re planning a trip together this week. After waking up he says “by the way my flight is in a few hours I’m gonna head to the airport”. We proceeded to get into an argument since I was both confused and hurt about why he didn’t let me know about booking his flight since we were planning on going together.

Well, I just found out that the reason was because he had made plans to attend a topless party that he clearly didn’t want me to come to. When I confronted him about it, he started by gaslighting me and telling me that he “already told me and I knew about this for weeks.” He didn’t.

He then switched to saying that “It’s a topless cooking competition so people being topless is not a sexual thing and didn’t think it would be a big deal”

Then he said it shouldn’t bother me because all the women there are unattractive and have “gross tits” and seeing them topless would actually “make him love me more.” Wtf

Then the story was that “he was worried I wouldn’t want to come with him and he feared rejection.” And proceeded to get upset with me because this 1 time a month ago I couldn’t come with him on a trip because of work.

Then the story was that it was because “he didn’t want other people to see me topless”.

The mental gymnastics here is baffling. My partner is hiding something from me and then trying to manipulate my understanding of the situation, but somehow is finding ways to get mad at me. Im feeling confused, hurt, and betrayed. What are your thoughts?