This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-09-28 04:00:05+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Numerous_Context_255
Originally posted to r/AITAH
[New Update]: I just found out that my half sibling is my full biological sibling and I don’t know how to move on
Editor’s note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, possible paternity fraud
RECAP
Original Post: September 11, 2024
I think I need to provide context on this one.
Hello my (25f) parents divorced when I was 3. They just didn’t think they loved each other anymore and started dating dating other people. my mom my mom got married after 2 years when I was 5 and gave birth to my half brother 2 years after that.
My father married when I was 11 but they didn’t have any kids. I live with my mom on work days and live on weekends with my dad. I have a very good and healthy relationship with both parents and my brother.
I wanted to do those 23 and me tests since the only thing I know about my ancestry is that my dad is Russian. I was talking to my now 18 year old brother and asked him if he wanted to do it with me and he said yeah so I sent two samples to the lab and the results came yesterday and I opened them and as the title says we are full biological siblings.
I can’t be my step father’s child because my ancestry obviously indicates that I am half east European (Russian) and other parts of Europe which my step father clearly isn’t and my half sibling’s (well now full sibling I guess 💀) ancestry is similar to my ancestry. So that could only mean that my brother is my dad’s son? I really don’t see the similarity between him and my dad but maybe it’s because my brother is a twin of my mom.
So my mom cheated on my step father with my dad after saying that they didn’t love each other anymore?! What? But i don’t want to jump into conclusions and I will ask my mom about this today when I get out of work so wish me luck.
Comments
Commenter: I would get a test for you and your father first.
DNA tests will show that siblings are related, but their level of relatedness can vary.
Update: September 12, 2024
I wanted to say that I really appreciate your support and I would like to answer some questions before I continue. Yes my father is my biological dad not just because he is Russian but because we have taken a DNA test for another thing (not because my dad thought I wasn’t his so get it out of your head) and he is actually the best dad ever.
No mom didn’t cheat on my dad in their relationship. My step father is very Italian with the accent and everything both me and my brother don’t have a speck of Italian in the results. his mother would come from Italy and visit us. No there is no “third shooter”.
Now let’s go to the actual update.
Me and my mom have this tradition we spend the evening together like a girls night every once in 2 months I asked her if we could do it tonight (it’s 2 am currently so it was technically yesterday) and she said yes. I got to her home and we did what we usually do. Bake something, eat the baked something while watching a movie of my choice and talk about things while wearing a weird facial mask.
I decided that since the mood is so cool why not ask her the question. I was like “hey mom you know about those 23 and me tests right?” She didn’t so I started giving a speech about the test. after explaining it I told her I did it with Jordan (my brother) and it came out weird.
She asked what I meant by “weird” I told her that the test said that we are fully related to one another and I kinda laughed but she stayed quiet. “It was wrong right?” I asked her. She got angry at me and asked why I did the test with my brother without asking her first. That’s when the realization hit me I got defensive and asked her if she was serious. She apologized and just sat there for a minute or two.
She told me that it was a one time mistake. So basically 19 years ago I was in My dad’s home napping mom came to take me but I was sleeping and dad told her that she could cone later and take me or stay and pack my things before I left to her home. She stayed and they ended up doing the dirty? I guess? (Don’t let anyone tell you that sleeping doesn’t save lives cause it created my brother’s lol).
I was pissed at mom and dad and asked her how she could do that. She said that it was an accident and they have never done it after that day and she didn’t even know that my brother was my dad’s until now. I was angry at both of them they don’t understand how much of a problem this could create.
My brother LITERALLY had a fat crush on my cousin from my dad’s side (well now OUR dad I guess) but it faded away Jesus christ I even helped him flirt with her! Shit I don’t even know what to say I am still too shocked and disgusted.
Jordan literally spent years learning Italian just to speak to his grandma. I think I need a proper DNA test without my brother knowing to get some kind of closure.
Edit : I have called my boss and said that I can’t come tomorrow. I have also called my dad and asked if we could meet so both of my parents talk and so I could convince him to give a sample for the DNA test
Relevant Comments
Does OOP’s stepfather believe he’s Jordan’s father and if he was told of the DNA results
OOP: Yes he thinks he is his dad and no we didn’t
Commenter: Wow, what a bombshell! It’s understandable that you’re feeling shocked and disgusted. This revelation changes everything, and it’s going to take some time to process.
Commenter: I am sorry your family is going to be forced to deal with the “one time mistake” your mom and dad made. I am sorry your brother and his dad the man who raised him are the ones who are going to pay for it the most. To learn your mom cheated is hard. But to learn your son is not yours and your wife cheated with her ex is going to destroy him. To learn your dad is not your bio dad because your mom cheated is going to destroy your brother. I know you OP feel this is hard for you but it is going to be so much harder for your brother. Stick together and hold tight to your relationship.
----NEW UPDATE----
Update #2: September 21, 2024
This is going to be a long update but here we go i guess. A lot has happened since I last updated. I have talked to my dad and mom and we told him about everything and he reacted like any middle-aged Russian guy with crippling anger issues and has worked for a sketchy Russian organization that starts with a K and ends with B and may or may not have G in the middle would react (if you work for the CIA and are reading this THIS IS A JOKE…well at least the KGB part).
He was angry, a bit sad and pissed at mom thinking she hid the fact that he is the father on purpose because she didn’t want to end her already done for marriage and things were heated between them. okay i need you to imagine this a 5’5 woman slapping a 6 foot something angry dude because that’s what happened between my mom and my dad. I got between them before my dad returned the slap and it took a lot of talking and screaming to calm things down between dad and mom but mom left after a while of not agreeing it was a shit show.
Once mom left I asked dad if he can give a Sample for the DNA test and he agreed. I took brother’s sample in a rather questionable way but i did the job. The test came back on Tuesday and yes dad is Jordan’s biological father. I told my mom that it’s time to tell Jordan and that we can’t hide this from him. She was against the idea but I did what I had to do.
I called him and asked if he could come to my house if he doesn’t have classes he agreed and came to my apartment yesterday. He got in and asked me if everything was alright. I told him that step father wasn’t his real dad and showed him the results of the DNA test. i guess I kinda shoved it in his face. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes and just kept looking at the DNA test I sat beside him I didn’t know what to do in this situation. I hugged him and asked him if he was okay he hugged me back and said that he was alright but it was so obvious that he was going to cry. He told me that he kinda knew that step dad wasn’t really hi dad and I was like excuse me?! (In my mind of course).
So basically his blood type is AB- mom has same blood type as him and step dad had A+ (which is a fact i didn’t know). You guys see what’s wrong here right? I can’t explain what’s wrong so Google it I guess. But Jordan didn’t know who his real father was so he was shocked when he found out that dad was also his dad. I asked him why he didn’t say anything till now he said that he didn’t want to face the truth i asked him if he wanted step dad to know and he wasn’t really fond of this idea. He stayed in my house yesterday and I guess he is fine for now but what’s been bothering me is that mom is not dumb okay s…
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