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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Famous-Dimension-862 on 2023-08-05 14:19:23.

I had a very brief relationship with a woman named “Karla” that resulted in the birth of my now 8yo son Ashton. I’m gay and had never been with a woman. In fact I had never even kissed one until I met Karla. She had just gotten a divorce from her husband “Chris” because he wanted kids and she didn’t.

My relationship with Karla didn’t last and confirmed that I’m definitely gay. We were both shocked that she got pregnant though. Anyways, we agreed to coparent and signed a custody agreement that pretty much splits custody. Also, there is a first right of refusal in that agreement.

Karla and Chris reconciled and remarried when Ashton was 4. Personally I like Chris. He is very good to my son. My son hugs and kisses him just as much as he does me. Chris doesn’t turn down any chance to spend time with Ashton. I don’t have to worry about Ashton if Chris is there because he’ll get him where he needs to get, bath him, feed him and he has endless patience. I really like that my son has these hands on male caretakers.

Karla was scheduled to have Ashton from Thursday to Sunday of this week. She mentioned that her cousin was in hospice and she was flying to another state to be with her. I said you can’t take Ashton out of state without my written consent. She said she wasn’t taking him. Chris was going to watch him.

I told her that this was news to me. We agreed that if either of us is unavailable then the other parent needed to be notified and given the option to pick up more custody time. I’m obviously not going to turn down more time with my kid.

She said that Chris had planned a four day vacation to a water park. I said I don’t care. She said “you know what. Talk to him then. I got enough on my plate right now.” So I did and Chris said he didn’t see the big deal and joked there wasn’t enough Ashton to go around.

He then seriously suggested that I become a Big Brother so that he could spend more time with Ashton. I told him he got me fucked up and now I’m canceling this water park trip. He told me he was joking but he wasn’t. He asked me to go parent another kid so he can parent mine. I was taken aback by it.

So Ashton is with me and I feel bad for Chris. I really do. But between that comment and not going through me when Karla was going out of town just angered me. I feel like I’ve been too nice.