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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/act103__ on 2023-08-05 16:52:34.

I never wanted kids. My husband too.

But life happened and now we care for my two little nephews. 5 year old twins. It was an easy decision for the both of us.

I’m not saying I regret anything but it’s not easy. Especially with little kids that are traumatized. Many of our friends (many who are child free) have been great. They’re especially understanding to the fact that though we didn’t give birth to them, we are now parents and the kids are our first priority. They also understand that we can’t hire babysitters or ask anyone else to watch the kids due to several reasons.

We had to skip one wedding, and another couple allowed us to bring the boys to their originally child free wedding. Both couples were happy and there are no hard feelings between us.

Now, another friend is getting married and she knows what’s up as well.

When we declined her invitation to her engagement party that would just be adults due to alcohol and other kinds of adult activities, she called me and begged me at to come. I said I’d try my best.

My husband and I decided that he would watch the kids on his own while I went.

While I was getting ready, the boys were watching me and they started to cry because they realized I was going out. This caused me to be late.

I apologized to her and while she said it was okay, I could tell she was slightly hurt. Regardless, I tried to have a good time with her and other friends. I didn’t drink any alcohol but she kept trying to make me.

Then my husband texted me a couple hours in saying that one nephew is refusing to eat and the other is screaming. I stepped outside for ten minutes to call them and when the boys calmed down enough, I went back in.

At this point, my friend looked angry. I had apparently missed a speech. She said I ruined the entire night by stressing her out with my attitude. She even accused me of thinking that I was better than her because I’m a parent now and she isn’t. I told her that isn’t true and I didn’t mean to ruin her night but I’m sorry.

She told me to fuck off and said something like “it’s a few hours, those kids don’t have to be on your mind all the time” and I was just going to leave but I felt so insulted. I told her that she can’t put her night being ruined on me and I’m sorry she had a terrible night because I didn’t drink and because I refused to forget about my kids for a couple hours but her feeling hurt is not my responsibility and she can figure it out herself.

She started crying and our friends (kindly) told me to just leave. While they all understand my position, they think I should apologize because it’s her party/wedding. And I did hurt her after all. I haven’t been thinking about this much but I have some free time and I just got a text from said friend telling me that I’m uninvited from her actual wedding. AITA?