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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Big_Helicopter_7935 on 2023-08-05 15:21:38.

Hiya, I’ve (m32) known my best friend since kindergarten. He got married a couple of years ago. His wife is cool, but can be a bit loud and extra sometimes. My girlfriend and I, were together for 8 years. I loved her and absolutely adored her.

Our relationship was already stressed towards the end. I have my faults that I can admit to… but I can’t shake off the possibility that maybe I was the final straw.

I’m not going to give away my ex-gfs profession, but she did art on the side. My best friend has a pretty good marketing job and had actually been doing a sort of advising/consulting thing for her employer. For free.

Like I said, his wife can be a little extra. I don’t care because they’re obviously happy together, and I’m happy for them. She knows when and where to be chill and respectful, though. She’s not just loud all of the time. My ex-gf would make fun of them after we’d hangout. Full on hateful personal attacks. I would ask her to stop when she wouldn’t let up.

She broke up with me after our first couples therapy session. She said was having problems with herself and needed to see her own therapist. Ok, whatever, I’m honestly cool with it. We were still living together.

So, she had an art show coming up. It was a big one and there would be some important folks showing up. She told me it would be a great networking opportunity. I get that. So she sent out invites to everyone including me, my friend and his wife. They live 1.5 hours away. The night before her show she sat down next to me, laughed and said “soooo i need you to babysit your friends wife tomorrow.” And that I need to get them out of there as soon as possible and go out to eat or something. She then told me that she doesn’t want to hear his wife’s loud voice, or see her stupid hair, or see her little “happy dances”, or see her stupid face. And then she said she doesn’t want to hear my friends droning voice all night. She said that is my only “job” for that night. I reminded her that my friend is helping her company for FREE. It went on and on. The entire time she was doing an overly exaggerated impression of my friends wife.

I called my friend and told him that maybe we should skip the show and I’ll drive up and hang out. He somehow knew something was wrong, so I just told him the truth. The next day my (now ex, remember) gf, asked what time we’d be showing up. I told her we wouldn’t be showing up because of how she acted last night. She flips out and starts screaming and throwing stuff and said I planned this on purpose to inflict maximum damage before her art show. I did not intend that at all.

Anyway, she said that was the worst betrayal ever and she moved out a few days later.

Maybe it was. Was I the asshole, or is it just a shitty situation where there wasn’t a good outcome? I definitely feel guilty about something though. Maybe we could’ve worked out if I didn’t do that?